Take On Me
by ECaitlin
Summary: What happens when five very different people get stuck in detention together? Friends will be made, adventures will happen and maybe, relationships will be formed! Eclare! And possibly other character pairings but I don't want to give too much away.
1. Chapter 1

**This story is based on the episode of Degrassi from Season 3, Take On Me. I put my own little twist on it by having the newest cast in it instead of the old one. And there will definitely be other twists. Hope you enjoy!**

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><p><em><strong>Clare's Point Of View.<strong>_

"You're sure you're okay?" Allie asked me as we stood at our lockers.

"I'm fine." I promised her. "I just don't feel like going. Maybe I'll head to the dot. Get a drink or something." It was a lie, but I didn't feel like explaining everything to her.

"Okay. Call me if you need to. Anytime Clare, okay?" She said.

I faked a smile in her direction. I was sick of people worrying about me. I was _fine_. Well, no. I wasn't fine. But I was sick of having to listen to people go on and on about my mental well being. I knew they cared about me, and I loved that, but it seemed like my friends didn't want to hang out, have fun anymore. All they wanted to do was make sure I wasn't cutting myself anymore.

Which I wasn't. Mostly.

I sighed and snapped at the rubber band on my wrist. It was supposed to help with stress, a substitute for cutting.

I was headed out of the school and almost across the street when a voice stopped me.

"Where do you think you're going, Mrs. Edwards?" Called Mr. Simpson.

Damn it!

"I was, um, heading home." I told him, which wasn't a lie. That's exactly where I was headed. I was just going to check on my mom quickly and head back.

"Are you feeling sick?" He asked.

I started to walk towards him so we wouldn't have to yell.

"Um, no but-"

"Do you have permission to go?" He asked.

"No, but -"

"I'm sorry Clare, I know you've had some rough times lately, but I can't accept this behavior from anyone." He told me, his eyes softening a bit. "I have to give you a detention for tomorrow."

"Wait, I get detention for going _home_?" I asked, annoyed.

"You didn't get permission to leave. That's skipping, Ms. Edwards. I can't allow that, no matter who it is." He told me.

I sighed.

"You can go, if you want. The damage is already done. I'll need to see you in my office to get your detention slip when you're back, though." He said, and headed back inside.

Great. Maybe if mom was drunk enough she wouldn't pay attention when I asked her to sign the detention form. Hopefully she was. I didn't want to listen to her complain about how horrible a daughter I was.

I wish Dad wouldn't have left. If they hadn't divorced, none of this would have happened...

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><p><em><strong>Anya's Point Of View.<strong>_

"I can't wait for today to just be _over_." I said, sighing.

"I know what you mean." Holly J said, sighing equally loud. "I need to relax."

Suddenly I felt someone grab my behind. I yelped, then turned around, eyes narrowed. Drew Torres stood before me, trying to keep a straight face.

"What was that?" I asked calmly.

"It was a dare." He said, and his group of football buddies behind him laughed.

"So was this." I said angrily, and poured the contents of my strawberry smoothie on his head.

"Mrs. MacPherson! Mr. Torres!" Called Mrs. Oh from behind us.

"Yes, Mrs. Oh?" I called back. She briskly walked towards Drew and I.

"Both of you can settle your differences tomorrow in detention." She said angrily, handing out slips to both of us.

"But tomorrow's Saturday-" Drew started.

"I am quite aware of that. If you can't keep your hands off the female population at this school, and if you can't keep your food off the male population, both of you will have a lot of busy Saturdays from now on." She said. We each took our slips. "Mr. Simpson and the rest of the staff agreed that normal detention wasn't going to cut it anymore. If we need to discipline you children, we have to take more drastic measures."

"Like taking away our weekends?" Drew said, sounding outraged.

I looked down at the slip.

"Wait, it says we're supposed to be there from 8:30 am till 2:30pm. That's a full school day!" I protested.

"That it is." She replied, and walked away.

I turned and glared at Drew. "Jerk." I muttered and walked away.

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><p><strong><em><span>Conner's point of view.<span>_**

"I really don't want to do this." I told Dave.

"Come on. It will make the guys like you better." He said, referring to his athlete friends.

"Fine." I muttered. I left Dave behind and went into the computer lab.

I was supposed to figure out how to take off the Firewall that was keeping the other students from accessing Instant Messaging sites and Facebook and things.

I personally didn't care, but apparently a lot of people did.

This shouldn't be too hard, I thought. I was good with computers, and as long as the firewall was put up by Mrs. Oh's computer, I would be able to take it down, hopefully without anyone noticing.

I sat at the desk and turned on the computer. She didn't have a password. I assumed that she thought we would be too afraid to try to go on her computer.

I opened everything I would need to remove the firewall and was so close to getting it done when a voice behind me stopped me.

"Connor." Said Mrs. Oh. I turned around, feeling my blood run cold. "What are you doing on my computer?"

"N-nothing-" I started to lie, but she came up behind me and read over my shoulder.

"Taking down the firewall, I see." She said. She handed me a slip of paper. "Detention. Tomorrow. And if I ever catch you on my computer again, it will be worse than a detention. Do I make myself clear?" She asked.

I nodded.

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><p><strong>So, what does everyone think? Is it good? Does it suck? PLEASE REVIEW! It will be GREATLY appreciated. Also, one character hasn't been mentioned yet, Eli, but he will be. Trust me on this one! Thank you for reading! -C<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

It was Saturday morning and I was headed to school. I sighed. I was exhausted, and detention wasn't going to help that. Maybe I could get some sleep in there...

I hadn't managed to fall asleep at all last night. Mom was drinking, which has been happening constantly since her and dad got divorced. Since Darcy was gone and so was dad, I was the one picking up all the pieces. I was the one staying up with mom, making sure she didn't drink _too_ much, didn't puke all over herself, or get alcohol poisoning. Making sure she didn't try to drive, which she's attempted a couple times, and making sure to clean up her messes when she spills a glass, or breaks a bottle or a family picture.

I was the one doing _everything_.

As I was walking up the steps and into Degrassi, I thought about the more pressing issue. She was asleep at home right now, but that wouldn't last long. She'd wake up and start drinking again. And she'd probably notice I was gone and flip out again.

The only thing she seemed to remember when she was drunk was when I was supposed to be home. If I was at all late, I would come home to find everything turned upside down. She claimed that she figured I was leaving her too, like everyone else.

At the thought of that, I pulled at the elastic on my arm and let it snap back into my wrist. The first time I'd done that I flinched, but now I'd done it so many times that I barely even noticed it anymore.

I looked down at the slip in my hand, the detention slip I had picked up from Mr. Simpsons office once I'd came back to school yesterday. It said we were supposed to be in room 103. I headed down the hall and towards the room.

When I entered no one was in there. I sat down at one of the tables. The room was empty or people. There was six large tables in the room and the teachers desk. I sighed for the tenth time that day.

I continued to snap at the elastic. I knew that eventually a blister would form, or the elastic would cut my skin. I kept snapping, hoping either of those things would happen soon. Something to distract me from thinking.

Finally more people entered.

First was Anya MacPherson. That was definitely unexpected. She was usually a good girl. Next came in Drew, who made sure to cast Anya an evil look before settling in at the back of the room at his own table.

Next came in Connor. Another surprise. I knew Drew and Anya, but I didn't _know_ them. Not like I did Conner. And Connor was definitely not the type to get in trouble. I gave him a small smile and he smiled back before setting in at the table beside mine.

Mr. Simpson entered. "I'm glad to see you're all here." He said, then looked down at a piece of paper. "Oh, wait. Someone's missing-"

Just then Eli Goldsworthy walked in. I should have seen that coming. Eli was the resident bad boy, hanging out with the kids who smoked during break, and were sometimes caught stumbling down the halls, drunk. The ones who were usually pushing people in to lockers and getting in trouble.

He looked at me as he entered, his eyes going straight down to my wrist where I was snapping constantly at the rubber band.

I could only guess at what he was thinking, but I assumed it included the words weird or freak. Everyone treated me as if I was lately. Either they were whispering it behind my back, or they were treating me like I was fragile.

Everyone except maybe Alli and Connor thought I was damaged. But I had a feeling Alli thought I was too, she just didn't want to say it because she was my best friend.

I snapped the band a little faster.

"Alright, Eli. Find a table." Mr. Simpson said. Eli did, sitting at the only one unocupied, right behind me. "Now, I know you guys are going to think we're being stict one you right now, but I didn't have a full choice in this matter. So, until the lunch bell rings, you're all expected to stay in your seats."

There was various groans and protests.

"I know, I know. If you don't have paper and a writing utensil with you, I can supply them. The only activity you're allowed to participate in is writing or drawing." He said, and put a pile of blank and lined paper on a desk along with five pencils.

"Any questions?" He asked, giving us a smile and putting his hands together.

"What do we do if we need to use the bathroom?" Anya asked.

"One person is allowed out at all times. Since I'll be checking on you frequently, I'll know if you're taking longer than necessary, so I wouldn't try that." He said. "Anything else?"

When no one replied Mr. Simpson nodded and left. I didn't mind the rules but it was obvious everyone else did.

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><p><strong>Review people! And sorry if it was short but I'll probably have the next chapter in in less than an hour. Anyone who has previously read my work knows that I tend to update quite frequently. I hope you enjoyed! - C<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

The second Mr. Simpson left, Eli stood up and went to the front of the room.

"What're you doing?" Anya asked him.

"Looking for something to do." He said, raising his eyebrows. "Unlike you, I don't want to spend three hours doing shit all."

"You can't leave." Connor said. When Eli narrowed his green eyes at him, he shrunk back in his seat. "I mean, unless you want to of course."

"I wasn't planning on it." He said. "I already have three more weeks of this, I'm not adding more onto that."

"Then what _are_ you doing?" Drew asked.

"No idea." Eli replied. He checked out the window in the door and then headed to the front desk.

He opened a few drawers, looking for something. He must have found it because he picked something up out of the drawer. Then he pulled more out. I saw a tennis ball, two packs of gum and a bunch of folded papers.

"What is that?" Anya asked.

"Almost every teacher has a draw devoted to stuff they've confiscated." He said, smirking. "I figured there might be something cool in here."

He popped out a piece of gum from one of the packages and then threw the other two across the room. One landed in front of me. I picked it up and took out a piece, popping it in my mouth and then passed the package to Connor. Eli planted himself on top of the desk, facing us all.

"So, Anya, " Eli started. "How did a girl like you end up in detention?"

I turned to face her. She turned to glare at Drew. "She dumped a smoothie on my head." Drew spoke for her. Connor and Eli laughed. Anya didn't.

"You groped me." She said angrily.

"So I'm going to guess that's why you're in here?" Eli asked Drew.

Drew snickered. "Yep. Totally worth it." He said, winking at Anya. She blew out a huff of air, turning away from him.

"What about you, Connor?" Eli asked next.

"I tried to take down the firewall keeping everyone from going on Facebook." He admitted, looking down.

"Nice!" Drew called. "Did you manage to?"

"No. Mrs. Oh found me first." Connor replied.

"What about you, Clare?" Anya asked.

"Got caught skipping." I said. I looked down. I realized that I had stopped snapping at the elastic and gave it one good snap before picking up my pencil and doodling on a piece of paper.

"Eli?" Drew asked.

I looked up. This should be good. Eli shrugged. "The usual."

"That doesn't really answer the question." Drew said.

Eli narrowed those green eyes again. They were nice eyes. Dark lashes surrounded the vibrant green colour of his irises.

"I'm not going to, either." He said.

Connor stood up and dragged his chair over to my table.

"So, Clare," He started. "I was wondering, what are you doing after this?"

"Going home." I replied. To check on my mother. Make sure she's still breathing. Perhaps cleaning up her vomit and picking up broken glass. I didn't say that, though. I just snapped the band again instead.

"I was wondering if maybe-"

"Do you guys want to get out of here?" Eli asked suddenly.

"Excuse me?" Anya said, sounding surprised.

"Simpson said-" Conner started.

"Look, newbies. Simpson doesn't like this form of detention either. I happen to know that he spend most of the day in the computer room. He'll come check on us at lunch, but that's about it." Eli said, hopping off the desk. He headed towards the door. "You guys coming, or are you just going to sit in this room doing nothing all day?"

I stood up first. Suddenly doodling didn't seem like enough of a distraction from thinking. Eli raised his eyebrows at me but didn't say anything. Drew followed next. Then came Anya.

Connor staid where he was.

"You sure you don't want to come?" I asked. "You're going to be bored."

Finally Connor stood up and joined us.

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><p><strong>So, what did you think? -C<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**A special thanks to Ilovetaylorswift (I love her too! I listen to some of her songs when writing)! Thank you for reading this, and my older story. And reviewing frequently. You're awesome.**

**And another thank you to meandthatperson, your reviews are greatly appreciated. And to reply to one of them, I'm trying to keep close to the characters, well also changing them a bit to keep with the story line in the episode Take On Me, so while everyone is like they usually are, they're also a little like other characters. Eli like Sean, the bad boy but still Eli. Clare like Ellie, but still into her religion and what not. **

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><p>"Where, exactly, are we going?" Anya asked. "I can't afford to get caught. The spirit squad need-"<p>

"We're not going to get in trouble." Ali said, cutting her off. "And we're going to the gym."

"Awesome." Drew said. "We gonna shoot some hoops, or what?"

Eli shrugged. "Does it honestly look like I care what you do?"

Drew's face went red, but it looked like he had decided to just let it drop. No one picked fights with Eli. He had a reputation, and he didn't exactly look like the kind of guy you'd fight with.

Right now he was wearing a dark pair of jeans, and a black zip up sweater with a skull on the back. There was a chain hanging off his pants. His black hair half fell in his face. And his eyes... they said back off. And everyone did.

"Why do they leave it all unlocked, if no one is allowed in there?" I asked, trying to break the tension.

Another shrug from Eli, this time no answer.

When we got in the gym everyone went into the storage room where you could get equipment. I suddenly got an idea and followed everyone else. Drew grabbed a basketball.

"Can I play?" Connor asked him.

"Sure." Drew said with a small smile. "You in, Eli?"

"No thanks." He said.

Once everyone was done, I went into the storage room and looked for what I'd wanted. I found it, at the very back. The big, giant mat that they use for high jump. The only problem was that it looked too large for me to move by myself.

Still, I tried. I grabbed one of the handles and tugged. It moved about two feet. It wasn't as heavy as I thought. Still heavy, though. It was about a minute before I even managed to get it to the door of the storage room. This was where it was going to become hard. It looked to big to fit out the door the way it was. I need to flip it on it's side.

I tried to, and the whole thing almost crashed down on me. I yelped and jumped out of the way, a second away from being crushed.

"Damn it." I muttered.

"I thought you weren't allowed to say stuff like that."

I turned to see Eli smirking in my direction.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You're super religious, right? Saint Clare?" He replied.

"Yeah, well, I'm sure God will forgive me for that one." I said.

I wondered how long he'd been there, watching me. He was probably laughing the whole time. I turned back towards him again, and he was still there.

I could have asked him to help, but I felt like that would be a kick in my pride. So instead I turned around angrily and pulled the mat down and flopped onto it, not caring that I was still in the dark storage room.

I pulled my iPod out of my pocket. I hadn't used it earlier, figuring that Mr. Simpson would notice and take it away. Looking around, I figured that my iPod would be the least of his worries if he found us.

I laid my head back and closed my eyes, enjoying the distraction that music supplied. I felt someone else get on the mat beside me. I opened my eyes and looked beside me.

"You could have offered to help." I told Eli.

He smirked. "You looked so determined." Was his reply.

I snorted. "This thing weighs twice as much as me, and has to be about four times larger." I said, laughing lightly.

"What kind of man would I be if I didn't think a woman could handle something herself?"

"Feminism?" I said skeptically. "That's your excuse."

He smirked again.

"So why _are_ you here?" I asked him.

Eli closed his eyes for a second, leaning back on the mat.

"Smoking on school property." He replied. That was unsurprising, but for some reason I didn't believe him. There was something in his voice that told me he was lying.

I didn't press the issue, though. I figured if he wanted a secret, he could have one. I had enough of my own to know that some things are private.

"So, skipping school," Eli started. "What were you doing? Running off to church to confess?"

I rolled my eyes. "I was going home." I told him.

"That's not very interesting." Eli commented.

"You have no idea." I replied. If only he did. The thought made me want to laugh, but instead I reached out and snapped the rubber band.

"Explain it to me, then." He said, propping himself up on one arm and facing me.

Well, _trying_ to prop himself up. The mat sunk under his elbow and his face hit the mat. I laughed out loud.

"I'll explain when you tell me the real reason you're in here." I replied, and stood up. I headed back out into the gym.

"What were you two doing in there?" Connor asked. He looked suspicious.

"Talking." I replied. Eli came out a second later, realized everyone was looking at him and winked.

I rolled my eyes again.

"Where else can we go?" Drew asked suddenly. "I mean, they keep this place unlocked. Anywhere else?"

Eli shrugged, but there was a mischievous gleam in his eye.

"I know somewhere else we can go." He said, and started towards the gym doors.

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><p><strong>I'm currently watching The Deathly Hallows so the next chapter won't be up for a bit, but it will be up tonight most likely. Unless I fall asleep. REVIEW! - C<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

"What's so cool about the cafeteria?" Drew asked as Eli pushed open the double doors leading into the cafe.

"There's nothing in here but tables." Anya put in.

"Look around you." Eli said. "Do you see anyone in here?"

"No, but-" Drew said, then stopped when Eli jumped behind the counter. "What are you doing?"

Eli shrugged, something I was starting to think was his signature move. He opened the glass fronted fridge that all the beverages were held in and grabbed a bottle of Coke.

"Anyone else want one?" He asked, holding open the door.

"That's stealing." I told him.

He lifted his eyebrows. "And?" He asked.

I shrugged and held out my hand. "Fine."

He handed me a Coke too, and passed drinks to Anya, Drew and Connor, not waiting for them to reply.

"Isn't someone going to notice?" Connor asked after popping open the lid on his drink.

"Maybe but they won't know it was us. I mean, who would expect the good kids in detention to break into the cafeteria?" He asked, faking an innocent face. It looks so out of place with his punk/bad boy image.

He was right, of course. They left everything open, so obviously they didn't think we'd leave the room. It was pretty naive, considering we were in _detention_, but still...

"What else do they have in here?" Drew asked, joining Eli on the other side of the counter. There was a door on the other side. Anya, Connor and I joined them both when they opened it.

Inside was a kitchen. I guess that's where they made all the cafeteria food.

"How long do we have till Simpson comes back?" Drew asked, opening cupboards.

"An hour and a half." Anya said after glancing at her watch.

We all rummaged through the cupboards. I felt bad because, like I had said earlier, it _was_ technically stealing. I didn't steal. I was a good girl, mostly. But as bad as I felt about it, I found a bag of chocolate chips and opened them, taking out a handful and popping a few in my mouth.

I caught Eli staring at me and threw the rest in my hand at him. I hadn't really thought about it, I just _did_ it. I laughed at the surprised look in his eyes as the chocolate chips bounced off him.

I looked around to see Anya, Drew, and Connor staring at me like I was crazy, their eyes wide.

"What?" I said after a moment.

"Are you _crazy_?" Anya stage-whispered. They were all afraid of Eli, I realized.

They all turned to look at Eli, but he didn't look angry. Well, I didn't think he looked angry as he launched a handful of Doritos at me.

I laughed and turned quickly, the chips hitting my back.

Everyone continued to stare at us as if we were crazy until Eli and I both threw food at them. Then suddenly it was a war. Everyone grabbed whatever was nearest them and chucked it around the small kitchen.

Eventually I grabbed another bag of chips and ran out of the kitchen as Eli followed me with a bag of marshmallows, throwing one at me everyone few seconds.

I laughed and ran around a few tables, but ended up cornering myself.

"I give, I give!" I cried, bending over with laughter.

Eli smiled. "Hand over the chips." Eli said with a smile.

I widened my eyes. "Give up my only weapon? No way!" I replied.

"You've got no where to run to, Clare." He told me, closing in on me.

He reached out and grabbed my wrist, making me drop the chips. It also made me wince in pain. The thin shirt I wore was enough to hide the cuts and scars, but not thick enough to stop it from hurting when Eli's hand wrapped around one of the newest cuts I had.

Eli's eyes knit together in confused. Then he moved his hand from my wrist, pulling down the shirt sleeve. My arm lat his his hand, uncovered, my scars and scabs on display. I watched his face, not my arm, as he looked at them.

I expected to see horror, or for him to be freaked out, or creeped out. Instead, he just looked thoughtful.

"Clare," He started, only to be cut off.

"What is going on in here?" Said Mr. Simpson from the doorway. He stared at Eli and I, and then looked at the door to the kitchen, which was open, revealing Anya, Drew, and Connor all covered in food and laughing. "I'll deal with you two in a minute."

He headed towards the others.

"Shit..." Eli muttered.

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><p><strong>I liked this chapter. I thought it was funny and kind cute. What did YOU think? Tell me in a veview! :D -C<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

Mr. Simpson made clean up the mess we'd made in the kitchen and then told us all to return to the detention room. Everyone sat at separate tables again, this time looking a lot more upset than the first time.

"I'm very disappointed in all of you." Mr. Simpson said. He closed his eyes. "What am I going to do with you guys..."

"Let us off with a warning?" Drew offered, attempting a smile in Mr. Simpson's direction.

"I think we're a little past warnings, Mr. Torres." Mr. Simpson told him. "And it's obvious that detention isn't enough to deal with you five."

I felt a sinking in my gut. Before the divorce happened, the thought of me in detention would have been laughable. Now I was going to be in worse trouble. I snapped at that rubber band again and looked around, catching Eli watching me. I looked away.

I didn't blame him for what happened. We all willingly left the room. We should have paid more attention to the time, though.

"I think that community service would be good." He said finally.

"You mean, like real criminals do?" Anya said, sounding frightened. "But Mr. Simpson-"

"No, not that extreme. I'm assigning everyone places in the school to clean." He said. "I think this will give you time to think about, and regret, your actions."

Everyone sighed, including me.

"Connor, you can help me in the computer lab. There's some business there that I need your help with, and the computers need to be dusted and cleaned." He said, then turned to the rest of us. "You four can grab rags, buckets, mops, and garbage bags from the janitors closet. Mrs. Macpherson and Mr. Torres, you can both head to the gym. The equipment and bleachers need a good cleaning after the girls volleyball game yesterday."

"But it's a huge mess-"

"I am quite aware of that, Drew. And as for you two, I have a special job. It seems that a certain group of kids," He said, pointedly looking at Eli. "Have taken to hanging out on the roof. I'm sure it will come to no surprise to one of you that it is a huge mess up there. That's your job to fix."

Eli glared at Mr. Simpson. I just nodded. It was better than suspension to me. Maybe not to Eli, though.

We all got up and followed Mr. Simpson. He opened the janitors closet, which I assumed was one of the only locked rooms in the whole school, and motioned for us to grab our supplies.

I grabbed a bucket, turned on the tap in the room and filled it halfway with water and poured in soap. Then I grabbed a rag and a garbage bag. I figured Eli and I wouldn't be needing the mop, since there wasn't a floor up there. The soupy water and rag were probably necessary, though.

Everyone else did the same, except Connor, who stood in the doorway with his eyes downcast. This was probably worse for him than anyone else. Mr. Simpson was his guardian, which meant that chances are, he was going to be in a lot more trouble once he got home than anyone else.

I struggled to pick up my bucket.

"Do you want me to grab that?" He asked.

"What happened to feminism?" I replied, and picked up the bucket myself. It was heavy, but I'd manage.

"I'm assuming you both know where the gym is." Mr. Simpson said to Anya and Drew. When they both nodded he motioned for them to get going. "Connor, meet me in the computer lab. And no going on any of the computer. You two, follow me." He said, walking ahead of Eli and I.

I walked behind him with Eli at my side. He was slowing his pace to keep with me, because I was struggling to walk with the giant bucket of water.

I let out a sigh of annoyance but didn't ask for any help. Eventually Mr. Simpson led us up a bunch of stairs and unlocked the door at the top. It opened up to the roof.

"Wow." I said.

Not because it was beautiful up this high, which it was, but mainly because it was littered with stuff. There was beer cans, food, everything you could think of. There was smashed eggs on the door leading back inside. It was huge up here, and most of the space was mess.

"Have fun." Mr. Simpson said, giving us a smile before leaving us.

"So you and your friends did this?" I asked Eli while putting down my bucket and wetting the rag.

"Yeah, mostly." He admitted.

"Must have worked pretty hard to get it this bad." I said, motioning to the giant mess. "And I thought Anya and Drew had it bad."

"Sorry." Eli said. He did as I did, wetting his rag.

"For what?" I asked.

"Getting us all in trouble. Trashing this place so bad." He said, shrugging.

"You want to make it up to me?" I asked.

Eli shrugged, but halfway through he sighed. "What do you want me to do?"

I tossed him a garbage bag. "I'll clean the omelet, and you pick up some of the garbage."

"Give yourself the easy job." Eli said, smiling. "Fine, fine."

"What time is it?" Eli asked after a while of cleaning. I'd finished with the door and started helping Eli pick up the trash.

I checked my iPod. "We've got another hour and a half." I told him. We both sighed.

"Want to take a break?" He asked.

I nodded. He started walking towards the other end of the roof. I followed. Eventually we got to a part of the roof that had a ledge. Eli sat down and hung his legs off the edge, resting his arms on the bar that kept him from falling.

I sat down beside him, swinging my legs out too. It was a little frightening. I didn't like heights. But it was also pretty. It overlooked the football field and the forest beyond that.

Eli didn't say anything and neither did I. My mind started to drift back to my mother again. I figured she'd be freaking out. I'd left a letter on the table, but she probably didn't notice it. If she did, she was probably already too drunk to actually read it.

I sighed and snapped at the rubber band again. Once, twice, three times. I kept going, hoping it would help. It really didn't, but I kept doing it anyways.

"Why do you do that?" Eli asked, gesturing to the elastic.

I took a page out of the Eli Goldsworthy book and shrugged. "It helps me deal." I said. "Better than cutting, right?"

He nodded. "I can't believe you did that back there." He finally said after a few more moments silence.

"Did what?" I asked.

I looked over to see him smiling. "Start that food fight." He said.

"You deserved it." I told him, smiling back.

"How, exactly, did I deserve getting chocolate chips thrown at me?" He asked.

"I don't know." I replied. "But you did."

"Most people wouldn't do that." He said, propping his head on his arms.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know if you knew this, Clare, " He said, his voice mocking. "But I'm kind of a bad ass. Most people are afraid of me."

I snorted. "Well, I'm not one of them."

"Yeah, I know. Why not?" He asked, turning to face me.

"You're not that scary. And honestly, I have more to worry about than some scary 'bad-boy'." I said. Then I decided it was my turn to question his actions. "Why didn't you freak?"

"When I saw your cuts?" He said, glancing down at my arm. I nodded. "I figured that enough people freaked about it. You didn't need me doing it too. Plus, I've seen worse."

"Really?" I asked. I wondered what he could have seen that made my cuts seem non-shock worthy.

"There's a lot people don't know about me." He said, and stood up. "Come on, we've got work to finish."

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><p><strong>The next chapter won't be Clare's point of view, but the one after that will be. And there will be lots of nice, cutesy Eclare. Promise.<strong> - C


	7. Chapter 7

"This is all your fault." I told Drew.

"Don't act like this is all on me, Anya." He replied, bending down with a disgusted look on his face and picking up _something_. "You poured that smoothie on my head."

"And I still say you deserved it." I huffed. I usually wasn't this bad tempered with anyone, but Drew really irked me.

"Either way, if you hadn't done it, you wouldn't be here." He said.

I hated to admit it, but that was true. Had I just ignored him, he would have been the only one here.

We worked in silence for a bit, the only sound was the rustling of the garbage bags and the trash.

"Did you really fake a pregnancy?" Drew asked me a little later.

"Did you really cheat on your girlfriend with _Bianca_ in the _boiler_ room?" I asked, angry.

"Yeah." He said quietly. "But hey, everyone does stupid stuff, right?"

"I guess." I replied.

"I was really surprised when you dumped that smoothie on my head." Drew said, laughing a little.

"Why?"

"Because you're _Anya Macpherson_." Was his answer. "You're, like, the good girl. I've never heard of you being mean to anyone before."

"I wasn't being mean." I snapped. Then I laughed. "Okay, I guess I was."

I sighed and sat down on one of the benches. "This sucks."

Drew put down his garbage bag and joined me.

"So, Anya, how does a girl like you go an entire year without a boyfriend?" Drew asked.

"I didn't." I replied.

"Really? Who?" He asked. One thing I knew about Drew, he was usually in on all the gossip. He was probably shocked that he didn't know about this.

I laughed. "My mother's doctor." I replied. "Didn't exactly work out."

"Ah, so you like older men." He said. "That explains it."

"Explains what?" I asked. "And I don't like older men. I just liked _that_ man."

"It explains why you haven't asked me out yet." He said cockily.

"Oh, sorry. I forgot that you are _the_ Drew Torres: Lady's man extraordinaire." I said with a snort.

"You know I'm hot." He said, but this time with a smile so I knew he was joking.

I looked him over. "You're not bad." I admitted. Then I blushed.

"Not too bad yourself." He said. "And you have a good arm. Those pretzels you threw at me really hurt."

"Sure they did." I said, laughing. Drew placed his hand on my knee.

"I like you, Anya." He said, smiling at me. "You're not stuck up, like most of the girls here. And you're hot."

"'I'm not stuck up'? Wow, Drew, that's the nicest thing anyone's said to me." I replied, but smiled back at him.

Drew ignored my sarcasm and leaned over and kissed me. It was a brief kiss, but ... I didn't hate it.

"Well," I said, jumping up. "We should... we should finish up here."

Drew's smile widened. "I'll finish, but only if you promise me something."

"What?" I asked, bending down and throwing a pop can in my bag.

"Go out with me. On a date." He said as he picked up his bag.

I bit my lip. "Where?"

"It's a surprise." He told me.

"As long as it's not the boiler room..." I said, laughing.

"Deal."

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><p><strong>So, this was kind of just a cutesy little chapter with no real depth or anything, but I wanted to do one with Anya and Drew. I love Anya, and I think Drew needed someone <em>other<em> than Allie And Bianca. So, eh. Hope you enjoyed it! Will be getting back to Eclare next chapter. Promise! -C**


	8. Chapter 8

"Why do you hang out with those guys?" I asked Eli as we picked up the garbage off the ground. "Not that I think there's anything wrong with it, it's just... you used to hang out in a totally different crowd."

Eli sighed. "Do you remember who I went out with last year?" He asked.

I thought back. "No." I replied. "I spent most of last year focusing on school work. I didn't really pay attention to much, other than my close friends."

"Well, there was this girl..." He said slowly. "Julia. I dated her since I was in ninth grade. Last year she got hit by a car. She died."

"I-I'm sorry for your loss." I said quietly.

He nodded. "Anyways, after that happened... I wasn't in a good place. And my friends... They didn't like the way I acted. So I started hanging out with Fitz and his friends. They didn't care that I was a little unhinged. They _liked_ it. And as bad as they are sometimes... they were there for me when no one else was."

I nodded.

"There's no way we're going to finish this." Eli said about ten minutes later.

I looked around. We'd cleaned up the garbage from about half the roof. There was three full garbage bags sitting in one corner.

"We'll get it done. We've just go to speed it up." I told him.

"Clare, Mr. Simpson didn't say we had to clean the _whole_ thing. He just told us to clean." He replied.

"You don't have to help, then. But I'm finishing it." I told him.

"Are you always so determined?" Eli asked.

I shrugged. "Maybe."

"It's cute." He told me, smiling.

I blushed. Then I went to grab a new garbage bag and started working double time. Eli followed, even though I expected him to stop.

"So what did you and your friends _do_ up here?" I asked.

"Drank, mostly. Smoked. Pretty much just partied." He said.

"How often?"

Another shrug. "Every other day?"

"And it took them this long to notice?" I asked, surprised.

"They don't expect anyone to know how to get up here." He replied.

"How _did _ you manage to find this place?" I asked.

A shrug again, but this time no answer to follow it.

"Kind of dangerous, partying up here. Isn't it?" I asked.

"No one's gotten hurt." Eli told me. "Most of the people I hang out with... yeah, they can be stupid, but even drunk none of them go near the edge. Plus, there's the bars, so it's hard to accidentally fall off."

"Are you ever going to admit why you're in detention?" I asked. I felt like Eli and I had gotten closer. Maybe he'd actually answer this time.

But his eyes took on a guarded look, and he turned away. "You ever going to tell me why you do that?" He asked, turning around and gesturing at my arm.

"Fine." I said, bending down and adding more stuff to my bag. "It's just, if you only got detention for it, it couldn't be _that_ bad, right?"

Eli shrugged.

Forty minutes later we'd finished cleaning the roof. Eli opened the door to get back inside and chucked all the garbage bags down the stairs.

"Well, that's a quick way to do it." I said.

"That's me, I'm efficient." He said with a smile.

We each carried three bags and carried them through the school and outside. Once we threw them in the big garbage bin, we headed back inside.

"What do we do now?" I asked.

"Go back to the detention room?" Eli suggested. I nodded.

When we got there, Anya, Drew and Connor were already there. Connor was sitting by himself at the front, Drew and Anya together in the seat at the back. They were laughing at something. Mr. Simpson sat in the desk at the front.

"You finished the whole thing?" Mr. Simpson asked, his eyebrows raised.

"Clare's a slave worker." Eli joked.

"Well, take a seat. You've got fifteen more minutes." Mr. Simpson said with a smile.

I went back to my seat at the front. Eli followed, pulling a chair up beside me and flopping into it. I looked over at him, eyes raised. He shrugged but smiled at me.

I smiled to myself and started doodling on the paper that I'd been writing on earlier.

I pulled out a new paper and sketched. I wasn't really paying attention to what I was drawing, just letting my hand guide me. I liked to draw. I was _good_ at drawing. Not many people knew that about me. Not my mother, not Allie. Only Darcy knew that.

I started paying attention to it when the lines and curves and shading started creating an actual picture. One I hadn't known I was drawing.

It was my living room. There was bottles all over the table, my mom slumped on the couch. Some of the bottles were full, some empty, some half way. Some tipped over.

I crumpled up the picture, looking over at Eli to find him staring intently at me. I tried to give him a smile but instead just turned away.

"Okay, you're free to go." Mr. Simpson said. "I hope I don't see any of you in here again."

We all stood up and walked out the door.

"Eli, can I talk to you for a second?" Mr. Simpson called. I slowed down on my way out the door.

Everyone hurried to the front door of the school but I hung back. I knew I shouldn't, I was invading Eli's privacy, but for some reason I found myself standing outside the door, listening.

"Yeah?" Eli said. I couldn't see his face but he sounded annoyed.

"How are you doing?" Simpson asked him.

"Fine." Eli said, his voice clipped.

"Have you found somewhere to stay?" Mr. Simpson asked him.

"Yes."

"Somewhere that _isn't_ in the school this time?" Mr. Simpson asked him.

"I told you, I wasn't sleeping here." Eli said angrily. "I fell asleep in class and no one woke me. Not my fault."

"You had a bag of clothes with you, Eli." Mr Simpson said, sounding tired. "I know life's hard-"

"No, you don't, actually. You don't know anything about it." Eli said.

He sounded about ready to walk out the door. I quickly hurried down the hallway and out of the school before he left the room.

I stood on the front steps. So was that what he was in trouble for? Living at school? Why would anyone do that?

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><p><strong>Nothing is better than a review, people! So come on, give me one! :D - C<strong>


	9. Chapter 9

I stood on the front steps for a few minutes. I should have went home. I didn't even know why I was glued to the front steps, but I just didn't want to leave. When Eli came out the door, I finally stood up. I guess that's what I'd been waiting for.

I opened my mouth to say something, but someone calling me name from behind me stopped me.

"Clare!" Alli called. I turned to her and she was hurrying towards me. "Your mom called me _again_. I think she's drunk again, Clare. She's slurring-"

"She's not drunk." I said quickly. "She has a cold."

"Oh." Alli said, but she didn't look convinced. She gave me her phone.

"Hello?" I said when my mom answered.

"Clare, where are you?" She said quickly. She did sound drunk.

"I'm at... I'm at a friends house." I lied. Alli looked confused but Eli just lifted his eyebrows.

"Get home. NOW!" She yelled. I assumed that Alli and Eli could hear her through the phone.

"Okay, I'll be there soon." I said. I hung up and gave the phone back to Alli.

"Thanks." I told her.

"Don't worry about it, Clare. You call me later, okay?" She said, and the concern in her voice made me sigh.

"Alright." I said, and then turned away and started down the steps.

"You need a ride?" Eli asked, coming up beside me.

I thought for a second. I didn't really know Eli, but it felt like I knew him. If that made any sense.

"Alright." I said, giving him a smile. "I'd like that."

Eli and I both walked to his hearse. I wasn't surprised to see it. Everyone knew he drove one. What did surprise me was the fact that I was getting in it.

When I settled in I looked around. There was a skull bobble head on the dashboard. There wasn't any garbage in the front, which wasn't something I had expected. I'd predicted chip bags and pop cans everywhere, given the mess on the roof. But it was clean. In the back, though, there was clothing and blankets everywhere.

"What's with all the clothes?" I asked.

"In case I want to take a nap during school or something. Or need to change." Eli said quickly. "I like to be prepared."

I nodded, but it was obvious he was lying. I didn't want to press the issue if he didn't want to talk about it.

This is what he'd meant when he'd told Simpson he had somewhere new to stay. Not a place, his car.

Eli pulled up in front of my house a minute later.

"Thanks for the ride." I told him as I got out of the hearse. "I'll see you on Monday?"

"As long as I feel like going." He said with a smile. I waved as I walked into my house.

I'd just gotten a ride home from _Eli Goldsworthy. _If I told Alli, she would freak. It was one thing for us to be on the steps together as we left detention. A total other thing to get a ride from him. Though I didn't think too far into, I knew Alli would.

I smiled for a moment before I got a look around the living room.

"I'm over here, Clare." She called. It sounded more like, "Mm overear, Clare."

I sighed and flicked at the elastic for a second. When I walked over to the other side of the couch, I flicked even harder. There was glass broken everywhere. Alcohol all over the floor. And mom was just slumped on the couch with her arm over her eyes as if she had just gotten home from a hard day at work.

I snapped the band again.

"Mom, what happened?" I asked her.

She waved her hand at me. "Nothing, Clare. Just clean it up." She told me.

I did as she said, because if I didn't, no one would. Then I went and cleaned up the kitchen and cooked dinner for both of us. Once everything was started I went upstairs.

I sat on my bed for a few moments, flicking at the elastic. All she did was drink anymore. It isn't fair! I'm supposed to be the child, getting taken care of. Not the other way around. I pulled at the rubber band again. And again.

I sighed. it didn't help much anymore. Maybe I should... No. I couldn't. But... it would make me feel better.

I fought with myself all the way to the bathroom.

I sighed in relief as I stepped out of the bathroom a few minutes later. My wrist hurt, but everything _else_ felt better. I knew I shouldn't have done it, but I had, and I didn't exactly regret it.

Mom and I ate dinner an hour later. Well, I ate dinner. I put mom's in front of her but she just pushed it away. I crawled into bed a few hours later. There was no reason to stay up any later. What was I going to do?

Sunday was pretty much the same as Saturday, minus the detention. I sat at home with my mother, monitoring her drinking. Making sure she drank enough water, ate something. I did the laundry too, and cleaned the entire house again. It was something to do, and it gave me a chance to dump out some of the alcohol from moms bottles and replace some of it with water. She wouldn't notice by the time she got to these bottles, anyways.

I took fifty dollars from her purse and grabbed a few things from the grocery store. By the time I'd eaten dinner at 10:00 at night, I was exhausted. I laid down and slept until morning.

"So, guess who drove me home from detention Saturday." I told Alli as we walked towards our first period class.

"I have no idea. Connor got Mr. Simpson to drive you?" She guessed.

I shook my head. "Eli." I told her, a smile on my face.

"Like, _the_ Eli? Bad boy who is hot as hell?" She asked, her eyes wide.

"Yes." I said, keeping my calm, unlike Alli, who was still saying "Oh, my god!"

"But, isn't he... not your type?" She said after a minute. "Are you sure you should be hanging around with a guy like that?"

"He's not all bad." I told her. "And I'm not going to be hanging out with him from now on. He drove me home. It's not like he asked me on a date or anything."

"You're right. Still," Alli started. "I think you should be careful around him. He has a reputation, Clare."

"Yeah, and so do I." I said quietly.

I walked down the hallway, annoyed. I wasn't paying attention and eventually ran into someone. I looked up to see an angry Fitz staring down at me. Eli was on his other side, along with a few others.

"Watch where you're going, freak." He said, pushing me.

"Back off, dude." Eli said, moving between Fitz and I.

"What, you two buddy-buddy now?" Fitz asked, glaring at Eli.

"No." Eli said quietly. "But you're twice her size, and a guy. You don't just push her because she wasn't paying attention."

"Alright." Fitz said, putting his hands up in surrender. Then he looked at me. "Just watch where you're going next time."

I nodded.

Eli came up beside me as I walked down the hall.

"Sorry about that." He said.

"Sorry? You just saved me there." I told him. "I should be thanking you."

"You're right." He said with a smirk. "I just saved your life. I think I deserve much more gratitude than you're giving me."

I laughed. "I think you're taking it a little bit far, but thank you."

"See you later, Clare." He said, and headed away.

I walked to my next class with a smile on my face.

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><p><strong>Reviews are always appreciated! -C<strong>


	10. Chapter 10

I sat outside the door to the counselors room. I had to have a meeting with her three times a week. I nervously pulled at the elastic on my arm. I hope she didn't ask to see my wrist. What if she could just tell that I'd cut again?

Eventually the person who was in the room before me came out.

"Eli?" I said, surprised. "I didn't know you had counseling-"

"You're not the only one fucked up around here." He said, giving me a smile and sitting down beside me.

"I've actually got to go in-"

"Not yet." He said. "I wanted to ask you something."

"Alright..." I said slowly.

"Fitz is having a party tonight. Do you want to come?"

"It's a school night." I said quickly, before realizing that Eli may or may not have just _asked me on a date_!

"I know, but I figured you might be able to bend the rules. Just this once." He said, giving me a smile and looking hopeful.

"I wouldn't really know anyone there." I told him.

"You know me, and you know Fitz." He told me.

"True, but I don't want to be following you around like a puppy all night." I said, giving him a small smile. "I'd feel like an idiot."

"I wouldn't mind that." He said, and put a hand on my arm. "Just come. Please?"

I nodded.

"I'll pick you up at eight." He said, standing up.

"I'll see you then." I said, and smiled at his back as he walked away.

I just got asked on a date. By Eli Goldsworthy. I had a minute of pure happiness before I opened the door to the counseling office and walked inside.

"Hello, Clare." Said Mrs. Carson. She was the new guidance counselor this year. She gave me a smile and motioned for me to sit down.

"Hi." I said quietly. I was still smiling about Eli.

"What's got you so happy today?" She asked.

"N-nothing." I said quickly. I wasn't going to say anything, but I couldn't keep it in. "Just... I think Eli just asked me on a date."

"Really?" She asked. "I didn't know you two were friends."

"We're not. Not really, anyways. Not until detention last Saturday." I told her.

"I wanted to ask you about that. How did you end up in detention, Clare?" She asked me, leaning forward.

"Mr. Simpson caught me skipping." I told her.

"Where were you going?" She asked.

"Home." I replied, looking down.

"Why?" She asked.

I hesitated. I hadn't really spoken about this part yet. I knew if I told her, she'd have to call Child Services. Then they'd take me away and my mother would be alone, with no one to take care of her.

"Some people were bothering me, and I just wanted to get away." I lied. "I know I shouldn't have, but that's what happened."

"Who was bothering you?" She asked.

I shook my head. "No one of importance." I said. I didn't want anyone to get in trouble just because I didn't want to admit my mother was an alcoholic.

"Do you want to talk about how it made you feel?" Mrs. Carson asked.

I shrugged. "It was mostly just annoying." I said.

She nodded. "Have you cut since we last spoke?" She asked.

I unconsciously put a hand on my wrist. "No." I said after a minute, knowing if I replied too fast she'd think I was lying. Which I was, but I really didn't want to have to talk about that.

"Good, have the elastics been helping?" She asked with a smile.

I nodded. "They're a good distraction."

"I'm glad they're helping." She said.

I looked at the clock. "So, our time is up?" I said, starting to stand up.

"Yes, but I'd like to see you back here tomorrow, Clare." She told me. "Alright?"

I nodded. "Bye, Mrs. Carson."

I left her office feeling worse than when I'd entered. Counseling was supposed to help, but I found it made things worse. There were things I couldn't open up about, so I found myself lying most of the time. It was exhausting.

I sighed and headed to my locker to get my stuff to head home. There was barely anyone at school anymore, since my meeting with Mrs. Carson didn't start until after the last bell.

When I got home mom was still a sleep. From the look of it, she hadn't even woken up yet today. That wasn't a bad thing. It meant that she hadn't had a drink today.

I left her sleeping and headed upstairs. It was 3:30pm, which meant I had a few hours before Eli came to get me. Still, I had no idea what I would wear. I searched through my closet.

Most of the girls he hung out with wore really revealing clothing. I didn't think there was anything wrong with that, to each his or her own, but I didn't feel comfortable wearing a short skirt and tube-top.

Eventually I settled on the only risky outfit I owned: A pair of black skinny jeans and a kind of low-cut red tank top.

I put the outfit on my bed and went back downstairs to make dinner.

A few hours later I was putting the finishing touches on my outfit. A little bit of eyeliner under my blue eyes and I'd be done. I looked in the mirror. I felt slightly uncomfortable, revealing all this skin, but I thought I looked alright.

I sat on the bed and flicked at the elastic, waiting for Eli to show up. I was nervous. What if he thought I looked stupid? But I drowned out those thoughts. I should be happy. Eli Goldsworthy asked _me _out on a date. Unless he meant we'd go as friends...

Ugh. I sighed again. I needed to stop over-thinking everything.

I went downstairs when Eli showed up. Mom was awake now, already into the second half of her bottle.

"I'm going out with a friend." I told her, standing in the door way.

"Who?" She asked, her eyes narrowing.

"Just a boy from school." I said quietly.

"No." She said, and tried to stand up. She wobbled for a second and sat back down. "I won't allow it."

"Why not?" I asked, angry.

"Believe me, Clare, I'm helping you out here. Boys will only break your heart." She said, sighing.

"Then let me figure that out for myself!" I shouted.

"Fine, but when he hurts you, don't come crying to me." She said, and lifted a bottle to her lips, chugging a few sips of it.

"I'll be back by twelve." I told her.

"It's a school-"

"I'll be back by twelve." I repeated, and opened the door, leaving her behind.

I felt bad, but I had to have my own life. I slid into the front seat of Eli's hearse, feeling guitly for leaving her behind.

"Hey." He said, looking me over. "You look good."

"Thanks." I replied.

With those four words, Eli already had me forgetting the little argument with my mom, and all my doubts.

"You ready to have some fun?" He asked, a mischievous gleam in his eye.

"Definitely." I said, and we headed off towards Fitz's house.

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><p><strong>So, what did you think? Also, sorry for not updating as often. I have exams this week and next, so it's hard for me to get free time. After they're over, I'll update a lot faster, promise! -C<strong>


	11. Chapter 11

**So sorry for not updating for, like, ever. My computer cord broke and no stores in my town had the right one, so we had to get it ordered and it didn't come in until now. I've been going insane without being able to write! :P Well, that won't be happening ever again, hopefully, and I'll be updating at least once a day again. Hope you enjoy! :D**

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><p>I felt a little insecure as we pulled up infront of Fitz's house. Fitz had a pretty large, expensive looking house. I was a little surprised. Obviously his parents weren't home, because I couldn't imagine a single person who would allow their child to throw a party like <em>this<em>.

There was people scattered along the lawn. Beer bottles and cans and a select few other alcahol bottles littered the lawn where people had just carelessely dropped them. A few people in a group were smoking a joint and laughing. The music coming from the house was loud, even from the car. One person was passed out on the lawn, other people stepping over her as they exited the house.

"Wow." I said finally. "That seems pretty... wild."

Eli flashed me a grin. "What, never been to a good house party before?" He asked, looking over the party with a slightly disinterested look. I guessed that things that would shock me only barely registered on Eli's radar. He was used to this kind of thing.

I shook my head. "Not really." I said. I hadn't been to _any_ party, let alone one like this.

"Come on." He said, getting out of the car and waiting on the other side, my side, for me to get out. I did, feeling a little nervous.

"I won't abandon you in there. Promise." He said, noting the way I bit my lip nervously. "We're not that scary."

He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the house. It felt nice, having my small hand in his large one. Most people wouldn't find comfort in someone like Eli, but I wasn't most people, and his hand around mine was the only thing pushing me through the front door and into Fitz's house.

"Eli!" Someone called as we entered. "I thought you weren't coming! Want a drink?"

I looked over to see one of the girls Eli usually hung around with slinking up to us, holding a plastic cup that was probably filled with beer. Eli shook his head and she pouted. I think I recognized her as one of his ex-girlfriends.

"Who's this?" She asked, looking me over. Her eyes narrowed. "Oh, my god. Is that _Clare? _Like, Clare _Edwards_?"

"Yes." Eli said, and pulled me along as the girls eyes widened at either the shock of seeing _me_ at a party, or at the annoyance in Eli's voice.

"You ditched me to hang out with _her_." She called, sounding very angry.

"Sorry about that." Eli said. It was hard to hear him over the music, but he had raised his voice.

"Not your fault." I said, giving him a smile.

"It is, a little. I didn't exactly tell Chloe that I was hanging out with someone else. Even though we're over, totally over, I think she kind of expected us to get back together."

I nodded. "Can we get something to drink?" I asked.

"Like, a beer?" He asked, smiling. "Thought you were a good girl."

"I am. Maybe a coke?" I said.

"Sure, but don't take anything from anyone but me. I know most of the people here, but not all of them. Not everyone's exactly trustworthy." He told me. "I'll be back."

I nodded. I didn't him to tell me not to take anything from a stranger. Darcy had been to a party once, back before she left. She'd had something put in her drink and it resulted in her rape. I shuddered.

"Clare!" Someone shouted. I turned, facing Chloe. I was a little surprised. She'd never really spoken to me much before.

"Hi." I said quietly, still not understanding why she was talking to me.

"Where's Eli?" She asked. She smiled at me.

"Gone to get us drinks." I said, looking around for him. He should be back soon.

She rolled her eyes, as if in sympathy. "That boy." She said. "He _always_ does that. Says he'll be right back, and then five minutes pass, and then ten, and then thirty."

"Really?" I asked, feeling nervous again. Had he really left me? He said he'd be back, but he didn't say how long. He could have meant a while.

"Why don't you come hang out with me?" She asked. She pointed to a bunch of girls sitting on the sofa and chairs. "He'll see you when he comes back. That way you're not alone."

She looked so innocent, yet I still hesitated. This was Eli's ex-girlfriend. Why was she being so nice to me? Yet when she started heading towards the other girls and looked behind her to gesture for me to follow, I did.

I sat down on one of the empty chairs, feeling uncomfortable.

"So, Saint Clare. What are you doing at a party?" Chloe asked. Her friends, all four of them, turned to watch me.

"Um, well, Eli invited me, and I thought it would be fun." I said, and tucked my hair behind my ear, nervously.

"Oh. So did you guys have sex _before_ you came here, or are you waiting until after?" Chloe asked, her eyes gleaming malicously.

I sat there for a second, shocked. "I don't plan on having sex with him at all. Not during the party, not after." I said after a few seconds of silence.

"Don't be such a prude. You're a total nun, Clare." Chloe said, not exactly nicely. Her friends snickered.

I knew there was a reason she brought me over here. She was jealous, and this was her way of taking it out on me.

That pissed me off. "Better a nun than a whore." I said without really thinking. It kind of just blurted out of my mouth.

Chloe was going to kill me.

"Whatever." She said, and just smiled it off while her friends laughed.

"Do you want a lolipop?" One of the girls asked. She opened her purse and pulled out a bunch of them.

"Sure." I said, and reached out to take one. I popped it in my mouth immideatly. It tasted amazing. It was strawberry flavoured, but there was a big hint of mint. "Thanks."

"No problem. They're homemade." The girl said with a smile.

Chloe smirked, watching me suck on the lollipop. "Eli's probably looking for you. You should probably go find him." She said. She looked angry. She'd probably expected to be rude to me and make me leave the party, and hadn't expected me to fight back.

I stood up and said goodbye to everyone, including Chloe. I wasn't going to be petty just because she was. I found Eli in the kitchen. He was looking through a cupboard.

"Clare!" He said, giving me a smile as he turned around. "Sorry I'm taking so long. I'm trying to find a can. I don't trust anything out of an open bottle." He gestured to the numerous bottles on the counter.

"It's fine. I don't need a drink." I told him.

He sighed in relief and came over to me. "Want to go upstairs? I've been here enough to know where all the cool places are." He said with a smile. I nodded.

Eli grabbed my hand and dragged me through the throng of people, all dancing, or drinking, or talking loudly. It was a little overwhelming, but I liked it. It was very different than anything I'd have went to myself.

I continued to suck on the lollipop as we went upstairs. By the time we reached the top of the stairs, everything was even more overwhelming. The music was downstairs, yet it felt louder up here. The lights were spinning, as well as the people huddled around and dancing in a large, open room. I stumbled a bit, thankful for Eli's hand to keep me from falling.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Just a little dizzy. This place is kind of..., you know, overwhelming." I tried to give him a small smile.

"We're almost there, promise. It won't seem so bad after that." He said reassuringly. I attempted to sqeeze his hand in thanks, but couldn't. My body wasn't reacting the way I wanted it to.

"Can we sit somewhere?" I asked, feeling even more dizzy. Eli looked me over more carefully.

"Are you sick?" He asked. He touched a hand lightly to my forehead. "You don't feel hot."

"No, I don't feel sick." I said, but then I suddenly learched forwards. I steadied myself and pulled the lollipop out of my mouth.

"Where'd you get that?" Eli asked sharply. He gestured to my pink lollipop.

"One of... Chloe's friends." I said, taking a pause to steady myself as I felt the floor looming up on me again. Eli wrapped a hand around my waist.

"God damn it." He muttered. "I should have known she'd try something stupid like this."

Eli guided me towards a small room at the end of the hallway and sat me on the bed. I immediatly leaned back, not caring that I was laying on someone elses bed. I needed to lay down or else I'd throw up, or fall over.

"Like what?" I asked finally, confused. "Try something like what?"

"Like this!" He said, looking angrily at the lollipop. I giggled. Who stared menacingly at a _lollipop_? "You don't get it, Clare. It's laced with something. I'm not sure what, though. People put stuff into candy so they can get high and not get caught. What police man would confinscate a lollipop, right? And that's why the put the mint in it. It covers the medicinal flavour."

Suddenly I knew I was going to throw up. How had I been so stupid? I laughed. Of course I had been, I wasn't used to this world, where people put drugs in lollipops.

"It should have been a small dose, but you've never taken anything before have you? That's why it's affecting you so bad." He said. "They probably didn't realize you'd react so bad."

"Can I just sleep now?" I asked, closing my eyes.

"No, Clare!" Eli said, shaking me. "No."

"Alright, alright." I said, but the words sounded strange. My tongue felt to big for my mouth.

"I'm bringing you outside." Eli said, and he literally picked me up. I giggled again. He carried me down the stairs, me laughing the entire time. People watched us, but it didn't faze me. The whole world had a kind of shiny, untouchable quality to it. Almost like I was watching it all from the outside, not really connected to it.

"I'm so sorry." Eli said, brushing my hair off my face as we sat in the grass. Well, he sat, I laid down with my head in his lap. "I shouldn't have left you alone."

"I'm the idiot who took candy from a stranger." I said with a small smile. I was starting to feel slightly better thanks to the fresh air.

"Do you want to get out of here? Maybe get a drink or some food?" He asked.

I nodded. "Thank you." I said.

"For what? Bringing you to a party where you got drugged and practically passed out?" He said, and sounded kind of upset with himself.

"No," I said, leaning towards him as we stood up. "For taking care of me."

And then I planted a light kiss on his lips. He didn't move for a second, probably shocked. Then he wrapped his arms around me and pressed his lips a little firmer against mine before pulling back with a large smile on his face.

"Let's get out of here." He said, and we did.


	12. Chapter 12

**Thank you everyone for all the great reviews! Seriously, you guys are awesome, and I _really _appreciate it. Every single one! Hope you enjoy this chapter! :D Also, I will usually be doing an everyday update, but I got caught up playing the new Final Fantasy game last night and ended up sleeping before I got to it. **

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><p>"The more you eat the faster you'll come down off the drugs." Eli promised, handing me a large burger from a fast food reseraunt. He also got me a large fry, and a soft drink. He ordered the same for himself. I didn't asked how he knew that.<p>

The lights in downtown Toronto swirled in front of my eyes. I had always loved this city, and probably always would, but there was something so beautiful, so mezmerizing about it this late at night, with all the floresant signs lighting every corner. The way they flashed against the dark sky. It would never get truly dark in this city.

The drugs made it seem almost unreal.

I scarfed down the burger, taking three large bites before realizing, _hey, I'm sitting in a car with a very attractive guy_. I stopped, taking a smaller bite. Eli raised his eyebrows and I smiled before finishing the last quarter of it in one bite.

"Sorry." I said, wiping my lip with a napkin. "I was starving."

"No, I liked it." He said.

"Oh, god. You're not one of those fetish people who like to watch girls eat, right?" I said, and started to laugh. The sound of my own laughing made me laugh even more. "Is everythign supposed to be so funny?"

Eli shrugged. "I don't know, depends on what was in the lollipop." He said. "And no, I don't have a fetish, I just like that you're comfortable enough with yourself to actually eat, like a normal person, in front of me."

I looked at the clock then, and froze. "You have to bring me home." I said between a mouthful of fries. God, was I usually such a pig? No, I wasn't, but I wasn't usually high either. First for everything.

"Is something wrong? And I can't take you home like this." He said. "Is something wrong?"

"I'm fine." I told him, trying my best to look sober and normal. I don't think it worked, my eyes unfocused for a few seconds before resting back on Eli's green ones.

"Clare, I-"

"My mom won't notice I'm on something but she _will_ notice that I'm late. And she'll freak." I said, putting my garbage back in the take out bag. "Please, trust me."

Eli sighed. "You seem better, anyways. Maybe not normal Clare, but better. Must have been a really small amount." He said, and sounded relieved.

I put my hand gently on top of his, which was laying on the gear shift. "Thank you for taking me out. Even though it wasn't exactly what I'd expected, it was nice at parts. Really nice." I told him. I normally would have blushed after saying something like that, but I didn't really care at the moment.

Eli just smiled a little and drove towards my house.

"I was thinking," Eli started. "Maybe we could do this again? Minus the house party and you getting drugged part?"

Now I _did_ blush. "I'd like that." I told him, smiling.

Suddenly there was more bright lights, these ones flashing. "The lights in this city are so pretty..." I said quietly.

"Clare, isn't that your house?" Eli said, suddenly sounding upset.

I waited for a moment for my eyes to focus past the pretty lights. That was a firetruck, and the other lights was an ambulance. In front of my house.

"Oh, god! My mother-" I said, panick jumbling my thoughts. "Oh god."

I jumped out of the car. "Mom!" I called, running through the hordes of firemen and medics. There was a group of men carrying a large hose and putting it back on the truck. "It's all out." Said one of the firemen.

"My mom, is she okay?" I asked no one in particular. Everyone looked at me for a second but no one replied.

"I'm fine." Mom said from my left. Her voice sounded thick, probably from smoke, which was still billowing out through various windows in our house. It was also slurred from too many drinks.

The fear of her being hurt gone, I was suddenly furious. "What did you _do_?" I asked angrily. "Our _house_!"

"I was hungry." She snapped. "And you weren't there to cook for me! What did you _want_ me to do?"

"Ma'am?" Asked one of the firefighters. "I'm going to need you to anwer a few questions for us."

"All right." Mom said, walking with him and looking relieved. She was probably glad she didn't have to listen to me yell anymore. But she deserved it.

"Is everything okay?" Eli asked. I hadn't realized he left the car, but his hand on my shoulder made my muscles relax a little. I was glad to have someone else there, someone who wasn't my mother.

"I don't know." I said quietly. I walked over to one of the firemen. "Is it safe to go in? Is anything destroyed?"

"You can't go in there for a while. The smoke's too dangerous. The whole bottom floor is pretty much unsavable. The first room at the top too. The second one's fine, it didn't manage to spred that far." He said, looking a little uncomfortable telling me that practically my whole house was destroyed.

Yet her room was fine. Everything for her was _fine_. All _my_ stuff, though, was ruined. All my books, my music collection. My clothes.

"How did it spred so fast?" I asked.

"I didn't. I'm assuming that no one was home at the time, because it must have taken a good fifteen to twenty to spred all the way up those stairs considering how small it must have started out.." He said.

I sat down on the curb, barrying my face in my hands. How could she be so _stupid_? Our lives were in that house. I knew I shouldn't be so materialistic, but to quote Rent, 'you're what you own' and everything we owned was in there.

"I'm sorry. If I hadn't brought you out you would have been here to prevent that." Eli said, sitting down next to me.

"Don't take any of the blame." I told him. "No one is responsible for this except for my mother."

"She didn't mean to, Clare. No one burns there own houses on purpose." He told me gently.

I sighed. He wouldn't understand. He wouldn't get the fact that had mom not been into her second or third bottle of alcohol, none of this would have happened.

''Clare, I've called my sister. She says we can stay with her until everything better." Mom said, coming over with a big smile on her face. Like _that_ would fix everything.

"Okay." I said, resigned. Fighting with her wouldn't take back everything that had happened. Nothing could take that back. I'd just have to move forward."Thanks for everything, Eli. I'll see you at school."

And with that I got into my mothers car and waited for her to sort everything out with the firedepartment.

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><p><strong>Anyone who has written my previous work knows that I don't exactly like everything to be happy. Drugging in one chapter, house on fire in the next. I like to keep my good-thing to bad-things ratio higher on the bad side. Sorry! :P But I promise there will be happy moments next chapter! <strong>**- C**


	13. Chapter 13

"I'm going to take a shower." I said when we got to my aunt Chrissy's house. "Do you have a new rasor? My leg hairs are getting gross."

Chrissy got me one, and a clean towel. She chattered the whole time, on and on about how we could stay at her house as long as we needed, and about how _happy_ she was that we were okay.

But I wasn't okay. Not at all.

I got in the shower at sat down, letting the hot water roll over me. I need this after the stress of tonight. A fire _and _my first time doing drugs in one night was enough to make anyone tired and stressed.

Everything was so screwed up, and I didn't know how to deal. Well, I knew one one.

I made sure to press the rasor in a little harder than necessary when shaving my legs, making three little cuts from the blades. I sigh as I watched the blood drip down my legs before finally cleaning off and getting out.

I had to borrow clothes from Chrissy, who was a size bigger than me. Nothing fit quite right, or was close to stuff I would wear. Chrissy liked pink, and that fact was very obvious from her wardrobe.

I sighed and pulled on the fuzzy pink sweater anyways. Alli would probably love it.

I wasn't happy about going to school today. After everything that had happened yesterday, you'd think I'd get a break. No such luck.

Mom staid in her room at Chrissy's all night the night before, and was still in there now. I figured she had a secret stash of alcohol in there somewhere. Maybe she rescued her bottles from the fire.

Walking to school gave me a lot of time to think about everything. About the fire, about mom, about Eli. Eli... I was so glad that he was there last night. I was embarassed about my drunk mother burning down our house, but it was so nice to have someone as solid as Eli there. He wasn't the kind of person to fold under pressure, and I needed that.

"That sweater is _so_ cute." Elli said when I headed up the steps at school. She had run over to me, leaving behind a group of boys, most in basketball uniforms.

"It's Chrissy's." I told her. Alli had met my aunt Chrissy once, and the two of them adored each other.

"I would love her wardrobe." Alli said with a sigh. "Why were you over there borrowing her clothes?"

I bit my lip. "We had a small fire in the house, but no one was home at the time so it kind of spred. Everywhere. We have no where else to stay right now, but Chrissy's." I said, leaving out the part where my mom actually _was_ home, just too drunk to notice.

"Oh, my god. I'm glad you're okay!" She said.

I nodded while opening my locker.

"I have to tell you something." I said quietly. I left my locker door open and used to to sheild our faces. It was about as close to privacy as you could get in a high school. "I went out last night. On a date, I think."

Alli squeeled. "With _who_?" She said, a giant smile on her face.

"Eli." I said, a smile growing on my face. "It was so wonderful. Well, most of it was, though there was the whole drug-"

"Clare," Alli started. She put her hands on her hips, looking very much like a mother about to lecture her child. "What did I say about Eli?"

"That he had a reputation. So _what_? Everyone has a reputation, his just happens to be a bad one." I said, feeling defensive. Everyone thinks Eli is some big, bad boy. He might be, but he's also gentle, and caring. It annoyed me to hear her talk about him like she knew him. She didn't.

"Look, Clare. You're not... you're not the kind of girl who can keep up with guys like Eli." She said, thinking she was complimenting me. "You're a _good_ girl. Not a tramp like most of the girls he dates."

"And what's wrong with that? What's wrong with a good girl like me dating a bad boy?" I asked, putting _my_ hands on my hips now.

Alli sighed. "Girls like you, Clare, want to save _every_one. You want to help him because he's all bad and what not. But you _can't_ help him, not when you still need to help yourself." She said, her eyes going down to my arm, which was covered by the sleeve of the pink sweater. "You're too fragile right now and I don't want you to go off the deep end again."

"I'm so sick of everything thinking I'm fragile!" I shouted. A few heads turned, but I didn't care. "I can take care of _myself_. Alright?"

"Don't lash out at me." Alli said. "I only want to help you, Clare."

"I. Don't. Need. Help!" I shouted. "God, why does no one listen to me?"

I stomped away. I was so furious. I thought Alli would be happy for me, yet she just wanted to lecture me. I was so caught up in my angry thoughts that I didn't notice Eli in front of me until he grabbed me, grinning, and pulled me into a supply closet.

"What the hell- Eli?" I said, confused. It was dark in here, though there was some light coming through from the cracks in the door. "What are we doing in here?"

"Well, I wanted to talk to you. Privately. I figured this was the best place to do it. They never lock these doors, you know." He said, and brushed a hair off my face. "How are you doing? After everything?"

"I'm... coping." I said quietly. "It's just so... shitty."

"Clare!" Eli said, scandalized. "You just swore!"

I rolled me eyes, though I doubted he could see that in the dark. "I can swear, you know. Just because I'm a good girl doesn't mean I don't get pissed off." I told him.

Eli laughed. "Well, does that mean that good girls can also make out with bad boys in supply rooms?" He asked, leaning closer to me and putting his arms around my waist.

"I think I can do that." I said, and leaned into him.

I knew it wasn't exactly proper to be kissing a boy in a closet at school, but honestly? I think I deserved a little fun in my life right now.

Eli pulled me even closer to him and pressed his lips against mine firmly. He was usually gentle, but not when it came to kissing me, apparently. I liked that.

My lips parted slightly and I sighed into Eli's mouth. I needed this so bad. All the stress from everything seemed to leave me as Eli's hands rubbed my back, and his tongue danced with mine.

Eli pulled back, a small laugh coming out of his mouth. "Your sweater is so _fuzzy_." He said, and played with it.

"It's not mine. I had to borrow it from my aunt." I said.

Something in my tone must have alerted Eli to the fact that I was upset about something. "What's wrong?"

"It's just... I hate it! I hate it so much." I said angrily.

"Is it that bad at your aunts house?" He asked, sounding concerned.

"No, it's not. It's that bad with my _mother_. She expects me to just... forgive her for getting drunk and burning down our house. She expects me to feel bad for her and it's driving me insane." I said angrily.

"Does your mom..." Eli started, sounding uncertain, as if he didn't really want to ask. "Does she have a drinking problem?"

"I-" I stuttered. Here it was, the biggest secret I had. One I hadn't told anyone. "Yeah." I admitted. I felt a little sick to my stomach, but I need to tell _someone_. "She does, and it makes everything so... hard. But I can't leave her. Look what happened last night! I was gone for, what, three hours? And she managed to burn the house down."

"Clare, it's not your responsibility-"

"Well there's no one else to take that responsibility from me, so for now, it is." I said, feeling myself grow cold. I wasn't trying to be rude to Eli, but he didn't get it. No one did.

I put my hand on the door nob, ready to leave but Eli stopped me.

"Wait, Clare. I... I get it. You have to deal with this your own way. I understand that. Just don't lose yourself while trying to save someone else." He said. Practically the same words Alli had used on me earlier, but coming from Eli, they had a different meaning.

"I'll try not to." I said.

"And if you ever need to get away... I have somewhere you can stay. With me. It's not the nicest place, but it's... somewhere." He said. Now he sounded embarassed.

"Thank you Eli." I told him. "For everything."

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><p><strong>Thank you guys for all the reviews! It makes me want to write a lot more. :D You guys are great, and I hope you enjoyed this! -C<strong>

**Also, I can't wait for the 18th of July! I keep seeing previews for the new episodes of Degrassi. Clare was screaming at Eli, asking him if he ever loved her at all. It looks so intense! **


	14. Chapter 14

**This is kind of short, sorry. Another chapter will be out tonight, though. I'm just making up for the chapter I didn't do yesterday. I was at the hospital with my mother during the time I usually write. Just a warning, this chapter has NO ELI in it, but I promise the next one will, so bare with me! Also, thank you all for the reviews! Seriously, I have the best readers ever and I really appreciate you all. -C**

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><p>"I heard you had a little fight in the hallway today." Mrs. Carson said as we both settled into our respective chairs in her small office.<p>

I was full of emotions today, both annoyance and joy, and sitting down talking to a counselor was something I really didn't want to do.

"Alli doesn't aprove of Eli." I said, playing with my hair, a nervous habit. I tucked it behind my ears, then pulled it back out on one side, then the other. Repeated until calm.

"Why not?" She asked.

"I don't know, stuff she's heard. From other people." I said quietly. I was still annoyed, but ranting about stupid best friends wasn't something you did with your counselor, it was something you did with your mom, or other best friends. People who would sympathize, not analyze.

"Gossip?" She asked. I nodded.

"She doesn't even know if half of it's true, and yet she expects me to listen to her when she says to stay away from him." I told her.

"She's just trying to look out for you." Mrs. Carson said gently.

"Yeah, I know that. Yet I'm capable of doing that my_self_." I said, a little more sharply than I had meant to.

"Clare," She started.

"Are you going to tell me what to do now too?" I asked.

"No, I'm here for support, not to boss you around." Mrs. Carson replied. I waited, knowing there was a 'but' coming. "But are you sure that Alli is wrong? Perhaps Eli is nice and good around you, but you don't know him either, Clare."

And she was right. She was totally, completely right. I claimed Alli was horrible for judging without knowing Eli, yet I judge him, only in a good way, without really_ knowing_ if he deserved it.

"I'll think about that." I told her, standing up and shouldering my bag. "See you tomorrow."

"Goodbye, Clare." Mrs. Carson said, and I shut the large, heavy wooden door behind me, leaving the serenity of her office and thinking hard about what she said.

"Clare!" Called a familiar, though not welcome, voice as I exited the school.

I looked around, trying to find my mother in the sea of parents and students and cars and buses. There she was, leaning out of an old car, probably older than me, painted a gross brown.

"Mom?" I asked, confused. She never came to pick me up, especially not in some strangers car.

"Clare! Jack and I came to pick you up. Isn't that lovely?" Her mother asked. She seemed slightly tipsy, but not full out wasted. Not _yet_ anyways.

"Who?" I asked, not going any closer to the car.

"Jack! He's a new friend of mine. I met him down at..." She trailed off, obviously about to list the name of a bar, but decided not too. "Well, anyways, get in."

Jack leaned out the window to smile at me. He had greasy, brown hair and a body that was two times larger than dads, at least.

"Hi." I said to his creepy, smiling face. "Um, I was actually going to walk. It's really nice out and I need the fresh air. Thanks anyways!"

"Clare, get in the car." Mom said, very firmly.

"But I don't-"

"Clare!" She shouted, grabbing my arm. Jack continued to smile, as if it was completely normal for mothers to physically drag there daughters into strangers cars in front of her school.

I sat down, put on my seat belt. I staid quiet the entire ride to aunt Chrissy's. I felt humiliated and furious. How _dare_ she. She had no right to force me to do anything. And Jack's creepy, beady eyes kept looking at me in the rearveiw mirror, making my skin crawl.

Where did she find this guy, anyways? Creeps-r-us? I thought mom had standards. Not that I should be judging Jack, since I didn't know how at all, but the vibes he gave me were enough to make me not like him. At all.

"Thank you for the ride." I said politely, undoing my seat belt and opening the rust door of the car.

I ran up Chrissy's front steps and into her house, not looking back at mom or Jack, though I could feel eyes on me every step I took.

"Look at him!" I shouted to Chrissy, who was trying to spy out the front window.

"Is that... Does your mom..." Chrissy tried to ask, but couldn't figure out the right way to. "Who _is_ he?"

"Jack. Apparently her boyfriend, though she didn't actually _say_ that, it was kind of implied, you know?"

Chrissy nodded. "I thought she'd never get over your father."

"I wish she hadn't." I replied. "At least not with this guy."

"Give him a chance, Clare. Your mom can see something in him, right? He can't be all that horrible." Chrissy replied.

I just nodded. I wasn't going to like Jack. I knew it. Yet I couldn't just be rude to him, not for my mom's sake, but just out of politeness.

Eventually mom came in, after a few long kissed with Jack, which Chrissy and I decided were too gross to watch.

"Next time I introduce you to a man, you respect him, Clare." Mom said angrily.

I just nodded. Something in me just knew that I would be seeing Jack a lot more, and that my feelings towards him wouldn't change. Yet if I wanted to avoid a large argument with my mom, I had to just bite my tongue and deal. So I did.


	15. Chapter 15

**Just so everyone knows, this chapter was kind of like comic relief. I realized that everything has been really heavy lately and I needed a small, funny chapter without much depth. Sorry if you think it's stupid. :P**

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><p>School the next day was a nightmare. Everyone was whispering behind my back. I could hear random people saying my name, talking about me, as if they knew me, as if they actually knew anything <em>about<em> me. It was infuriating, and embarassing.

By the time lunch rolled around, I'd assumed that everyone had seen the little scene between my mother, Jack, and I yesterday after school. But apparently I was wrong.

I was putting my stuff away in my locker when Alli came up to me. She bit her lip nervously, as if she was debating saying something.

"Is it true?" She finally blurted.

"Is what true?" I asked with a loud sigh. I knew what was coming. "Is it true your mother dragged you into a random car yesterday after school? Was it really your mom or were you being kidnapped by terrorists?" She would say, or something equally stupid and gossipy.

I was surprised when she said, "That you slept with Eli."

For some reason, this was infinitely worse. I wasn't a prude, if people wanted to have sex, all the power to them. Yet my own personal choice was to wait until marriage, until I found the right guy. Someone I loved.

And now people are saying I had sex with Eli. The thought made me blush, whether in embarassment or because of the thoughts of having sex with Eli, I wasn't sure.

"Oh, my god. You _did_!" She squeeled and hugged me. Apparently our whole argument yesterday was forgotten now that my virginity was being questioned.

"I didn't, actually." I said coolly. I wasn't going to let this bother me. I wasn't the kind of person to be upset about gossip. "Who told you that?"

"Like, everyone." Alli said. That kind of made my stomach knot, but I still held my cool.

"I don't think anyone would know better than me. And I did not have sex with Elijah Goldsworthy. Alright?"

Alli nodded. "Apparently Eli was talking about it with some friends, though." She said, looking a little nervous to be telling me that.

That bothered me.

I walked down the hall, towards the lunch room. I was on the hunt for a certain green eyed boy. He was sitting at a table, well, actually _on_ the table, with his normal friends, including Fitz and Chloe.

"Eli," I said, as politely as possible. "Did you tell people we had sex?"

Eli's friends turned towards me. Fitz's eyes widened a little, and a sly grin spred across his face. Chloe looked torn between being laughing and screaming, obviously angry that Eli and I 'had sex' even if it wasn't true.

"What? No. Clare, you've got to believe me, I never said that to _any_one." He said, standing up.

"No, I do believe you." I said, although I didn't know why. Mrs. Carson's words played over in my head. I really didn't know Eli enough, but I still had no reason _not_ to believe him. "Everyone else can believe what they want."

I walked away, still feeling slightly upset. I believed Eli, but then why would people be assuming we were sleeping together? Was it because we were seen hanging out? Did Eli usually work that fast, so they just assumed I was like every other girl?

I sighed, over thinking everything like usual.

"Clare!" Someone called. It was Drew. That was weird. Since detention, we hadn't really spoken.

"Yeah?" I said, my eyebrows knitting together.

"Look, I'm really sorry." He said, and he actually looked it.

But why? "What do you mean?" I asked.

"It's kind of my fault why everyone thinks you and Eli are having sex. I was talking to my brother, Adam, about Anya and I and apparently someone over heard and thought I was talking about you and Eli." He said.

That didn't really make me any less confused. " I don't see what that has to do with Eli and I."

"Well, the way I was talking about it, I said that we'd met, Anya and me, at detention and had sex last night." He told me. "And since everyone's been wondering about you and Eli, they probably just assumed that was who I'd been talking about. No one really knows about Anya and I. They probably only heard, "Met at detention and had sex last night."

"I didn't know there _was_ and Anya and you." I replied, giving him a small smile. After Alli and Drew broke up, I wasn't exactly fond of the guy. He'd cheated on my best friend and broke her heart. If there was ever a girl to fix a guy like Drew, though, it was Anya.

"Well, there is." Drew replied, giving me a grin back. "I got to go, but I really am sorry Clare."

"Let people think want they want to think." I replied and then headed in the opisite direction that Drew was going.

Now that I knew what was going on, the attitude people had towards me changed. Some people, like Holly J and Chloe, sneered at me. Others, like Bianca and a few of her close friends, smiled and talked to me, as if I was in on something with them, now that I, saint virgin Clare, had popped my cherry. Others pitied me, like Sav, Alli's brother, who told me that rumours were vicious and that I shouldn't listen to them.

Honestly, when I got over the whole shock of things, it was kind of hilarious. Well, maybe not _that_ funny, but definitely amusing. I couldn't believe how big of a deal people were making over it. Most people could have sex and no one would talk about it, but I guess when you're a well known Christain who believes in waiting until marriage, having a sex scandal is top news.

High school was so stupid.

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><p><strong>Could you imagine if our Saint Clare actually did have sex with one of the schools bad boys? I bet everyone really would make a big deal out of it. <strong>

**I promise next chapter will have a little more depth to it, but I honestly just wanted to do one small chapter where everything wasn't so big and emotional, which most of my chapters have been. If you really hated it, I promise it will go back to normal next chapter. It will be just as emotionally draining as usual. Maybe I'll kill someone off... Just kidding! But anyways, review! And thanks to all who did on the last chapter! - c**


	16. Chapter 16

"Clare!" Called Eli's voice from behind me. I was walking through the back field at school, taking an alternate route to aunt Chrissy's encase mom and Jack came to pick me up again.

I turned around to find a slightly out of breath Eli running towards me. He stopped in front of me and I raised me eyebrows.

"Did you want to come over tonight? To hang out or something?" He asked.

He had run all the way across the field just to ask me to hang out with him. The made me smile.

"Sure, do you want to pick me up in a few hours?" I asked.

Eli smiled, looking relieved. "So you're really not upset at me over sex rumor?"

"No. I found out how that started, actually." I told him.

I explained to him the whole situation and we both ended up laughing.

"Got to love high school." He said.

I gave him my aunts address and then we both headed off in opisite directions: me to Chrissy's and Eli back to school to drive home, where ever that was.

I had a smile on my face all the way to Chrissy's. There was something about Eli that made me feel... special. Maybe it was because around everyone else he was that rebellious bad boy, but around me he was just a normal, sweet boy.

Toronto was a loud, busy city with a lot of people, which is why when I heard shouts of fighting I figured Chrissy's neighbors were having a fight. I noticed Jack's car in front of the house.

That's when I realized that the fighting was coming from _Chrissy's_ house.

I ran up the steps, confused.

"I offered you a place to stay and this is how you repay me?" Chrissy yelled.

She was in the living room, so I headed in there. Normally I would mind my own business, but I couldn't help it. Chrissy wasn't known for yelling and arguing so something must have been really wrong.

"Get off your high horse, Christine." My mother said, rolling her eyes.

"He stole and sold my favorite necklace!" She shouted. Chrissy looked close to tears and close to slapping my mother.

"What's going on?" I asked, trying to break the tension by drawing the attention to myself.

"Your moms deadbeat boyfriend-"

"Don't talk to me like that, bitch!" Jack yelled.

Jack stood up and grabbed two of the bottles off alcohol the table in one hand and moms arm in the other. "We're leaving." He said.

"Excuse me?" Chrissy asked, looking slightly less upset and more confused.

"I'm not going to stay here and have you accuse us of stealing from you. Come on, Clare. We'll go stay at Jack's until the house is fixed." Mom said, her and jack coming towards me.

"I'm not going to stay with someone I barely know." I told her, backing away.

"I am still your mother, and you will listen to me!" She shouted.

Normally I would have shouted back at her, or something. Not this time. I just grabbed my bag and ran out the door. Mom and Chrissy both called after me, but I didn't turn around. No way was I leaving Chrissy's to stay at creepy-Jack's. I could just imagine what his place would look like, given the way he dressed and took care of himself.

The grip he had had on my moms arm bothered me, too. It was a little too aggressively controlling. Yep, definitely not going _any_where with that guy.

I ran until I was sure I was in a place where mom couldn't find me if her and Jack decided to come find me. I thought about what Chrissy had said about the necklace. She wasn't a paranoid, judgmental person. She wouldn't accuse someone of stealing from her unless she knew for a fact she was right.

Why did mom have to go and date the scummiest person she met?

I sighed and searched my bag for money. I had a twenty. I went to the dot and got myself a coffee and sat outside with it by myself. Halfway through my drink I was interrupted by a car honking loudly.

I looked around, my eyes narrowed. The drivers in the city were not afraid to annoyingly press on the horn constantly.

It wasn't until I heard someone calling my name that I realized they were honking at _me_.

"Clare!" It was Eli. I looked around for his hearse. I found it four cars away from me, Eli leaving over and waving out the passenger side window. The car behind him starting honking too, but for different reasons.

"Get in!" He called.

Without hesitation, I got up and did just that.

* * *

><p><strong>I realize that this is my shortest chapter yet, but I will have another one up by tonight, I promise! Probably within the next three hours. Also! My highest views in one day is 996. Today we already have 977, so lets see if we can beat 1000! That would be awesome!<strong>

**Thanks for the reviews everyone! You guys make my day. :)**


	17. Chapter 17

"Don't laugh, okay?" Eli said, sticking a key in the lock to the apartment. _His_ apartment. "Living on your own at seventeen isn't exactly easy. Or cheap."

We entered and I didn't laugh. Not at all. I smiled. It wasn't a dump, like I'd expected. The windows were covered by large black curtains, and the couch set, also black, looked almost new. I'd been expecting one big room, plus a kitchen. No bedrooms.

I was wrong. There was two doors in a hallway, one was the bathroom, the other must have been Eli's room. He had a kitchen table and everything, which was kind of surprising for some reason.

"Why did you think I was going to laugh?" I asked.

Eli just shrugged. Then I spotted something in the corner that did make me laugh.

"Could you be anymore cliche?" I asked him, walking over to the large fish tank filled with different coloured fish. "Single bachelor with a tank full of fish."

"Fish aren't the only pets I have." He said with a smile.

And suddenly the biggest dog I'd ever seen ran to greet me. He was huge, on all fours he'd probably be as tall as me. He was pure white, and had a long coat.

"You never told me you had a dog." I said, reaching my hand out to let him sniff me. I bent down to his level. "Aren't you a handsome boy?"

"You never asked." Eli replied. He ruffled the hair on the dogs head. "His name is Kurt."

I raised an eyebrow. "You know, after the lead singer of Nirvana? Kurt Cobain?"

"Oh." I nodded. "He's beautiful."

"He's a Great Pyrenees." Eli said. "Normally the landlord wouldn't let a dog this big in an apartment but... Kurt has charm."

Eli walked over to his couch and sat down. I took off my shoes and followed him.

"Why weren't you at your aunts house? Trying to ditch out on me?" Eli asked playfully.

I sighed. "Not exactly." I said quietly. "My mom had her boyfriend over and... my aunt thinks he stole her necklace."

"Did he?" Eli asked.

"Probably. Chrissy wouldn't accuse him of it if she wasn't almost one-hundred percent sure." I replied. "And so my mom said we were moving in with Jack, the boyfriend. He's extremely creepy. So I ran away."

Eli laughed. "Sorry, it's not that I find the situation funny, it's just... Saint Clare, running away? Never would have seen that coming."

"Yeah, I never would have expected it either. I just couldn't deal with it all. Jack is just like my mom, but with a side-order of creepy on top of alcoholic. Living with the two of them would be unbearable." I said quietly.

"Then tell her no." Eli said simply. As if it could be so easy!

"Legally, she's still my mother and has authority over me until I'm eighteen. If she says I have to live with her and Jack, then I do." I told him.

"Then don't give her a chance to tell you. Stay here." He told me.

I looked into his deep green eyes. He was serious. How could he be serious? We weren't even dating and he was asking me to move in. And part of me wanted to say yes. A very big part.

I stood up, thinking about it. Maybe not permanently, but I could temporarily stay with Eli, right? I could... check on mom once in a while, make sure she's okay. Maybe me being gone would make her feel guilty and make her want to stop drinking.

Okay, that wasn't likely, but still.

I looked around the room. It wouldn't be a terrible place to stay. Something in the corner caught my eye.

"I didn't know you played baseball." I said suddenly, looking at the big wooden bat by the door.

"I don't." Eli told me.

"Then why do you have a baseball bat?" I asked. When Eli raised his eyebrows I got it.

"Oh, my god." I said quietly. My eyes widened. "You don't actually, like beat people-"

"Self defense only, I promise. And I haven't had to use it, if that makes you feel any better." Eli said quickly. That did make me feel better, actually. And it made sense, in a city like this, when living on your own.

"So?" Eli said.

"I could stay here." I replied, nodding. "Temporarily, of course. I have to tell my mom, though. I have to. If I don't, she could call the police or something."

Eli nodded.

Half an hour later Eli and I headed back to my aunt Chrissy's house. We talked for a bit, and watched TV. I liked spending time with Eli. I was _comfortable_ around him. I didn't feel weird, the way I did when I spent time alone with other guys I'd liked, like KC. I didn't get squirmy and jumpy, and when Eli kissed me, it felt right.

I smiled while sitting in the car just thinking about kissing Eli. He always kissed me firmly, never gentle. Not that he was rough, just passionate. It was... sexy. He didn't treat me like some breakable flower but more like something he couldn't get enough of. I liked the way it made me feel.

"You going in?" Eli asked. I blushed even though I knew he couldn't read my thoughts.

"Yeah." I said quickly, and exited the hearse.

When I entered Chrissy's house, Chrissy was the only one there.

"They went to _Jack's_." She said, her nose wrinkling up at the his name. Chrissy didn't hide her distaste for the man.

"Did she tell you where-"

Chrissy cut me off, giving me the address. "Be careful Clare. I don't like that man at all. If... if things don't work out, call me, okay? You can always stay here." She said. I nodded, giving her a hug.

I left and went back to Eli's car. I told him how to get to Jack's, and he drove me without question.

"Do you feel like my chauffeur?" I asked, smiling.

"Anything to help out a friend." Eli said with a smile. "Even being a chauffeur for the evening. Just don't make a habit out of it."

"Is that what we are?" I asked quietly. "Friends?"

Eli lost the smile and turned to me quickly, then back to the road. "I don't really want to be friends." Eli told me.

Ouch. "Oh, okay." I said quietly.

Eli rolled his eyes. "I was trying to hint at the fact that I wanted to be _more_ than friends, Clare." He said, the smile returning.

"Like, boyfriend and girlfriend?" I asked, feeling so sixth grade.

"I'm not good with girlfriends." Eli admitted. "I'm not good in general. But you make me better, Clare."

I felt giddy all of a sudden. A huge smile broke out on my face. "I'm glad." I said sincerely. "You make me feel better, too." And he did. A lot better. Unlike all my other friends, I wasn't some fragile girl on the brink of destruction to Eli. He made me feel normal.

Eli and I were both quiet for the rest of the drive. I was still smiling when we pulled up in front of Jack's house, despite everything that had, and was going to, happen.

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><p><strong>Sorry for updating so late. The new map pack for Black Ops came out today and I've been obsessively playing it. (don't judge me! :P ) Anyways, hope you enjoyed it! - C<strong>


	18. Chapter 18

I knocked lightly on the door to Jack's house, if you could call it a house. It was a small, run down looking shack. There was beer bottles and ripped garbage bags littering the front lawn. I wasn't surprised.

When no one answered, I pressed my ear lightly to the door. I heard talking. I pushed open the door, not waiting for someone to answer, since I figured no one would. I turned back to give Eli a 'one minute' sign. He raised his eyebrows but didn't say anything.

"Hello?" I called quietly.

"Who the hell is it?" Jack yelled. I winced, but walked farther in.

"It's me, Clare?" I called back.

"Your ungrateful daughter's here, Helen." Jack said. My blood boiled but I didn't comment back.

"Clare?" Mom called, coming out of the living room. "What is wrong with you?"

"Excuse me?" I asked, confused.

"Running off on me like some little brat! Jack was nice enough to offer for us to stay here, and you repay him like that?" She said angrily.

"I don't want to stay with Jack." I said calmly. "I barely know him. _You_ barely know him."

"I know enough about him to know he would never treat us the way my damn sister did." Mom replied, no where near as calm as me.

"I'm not staying here." I told her. "You have a choice: Either we both go back, together, and stay with Chrissy, or I stay with a friend. Only options."

Jack came out into the hallway now, and came up behind my mother. He possessively put his hand on her arm. It looked like he was grabbing a little too hard.

"You're not going anywhere." Jack said angrily, talking to my mother. Then he turned to me. "She can go where ever the hell she wants."

"She's my daughter-"

"I don't care." Jack said, and he seemed to hold her even tighter. "You don't need to go back to that bitch sister of yours."

Mom looked hesitant for one wonderful second, but then her face hardened when she looked at me and that moment was shattered.

"You're right." She said.

I moved forward and grabbed my moms hand. I tried pulling her along behind me.

"I'm not letting you stay with him. Your my _mother_ and I need you to come with me. Please."

"Don't tell her what to do." Jack said, pushing me backwards.

I was shocked for a moment. "Who the hell do you think you are?" I screamed at him. "You have no right to touch me."

"Really? After you come into _my _ home acting like a little bitch?" Jack said angrily. He pushed my mother behind him and stepped towards me. Mom didn't even move to stop him.

"Don't touch me!" I screamed. Hopefully Eli would.

Jack just laughed and came closer to me. I stepped backwards. We did this weird little dance until I was backed against the door, cornered. I couldn't open it now that I was leaning against it.

Jack raised his hand and it was inches from my face when the door opened.

"Leave her alone." Eli said calmly. He was holding a baseball bat in his arms. It looked like something he'd definitely done before. Not at all awkward, just threatening.

"Who the fuck are you?" Jack asked. For a second he looked just plain confused, but then his confusion turned to anger.

Jack found a new target, but Eli wasn't the type of person to be victimized. The second Jack's hand came towards him, Eli swung the bat low and hard, striking Jack right behind his knee caps. He crumpled to the ground.

Eli then gently grabbed my hand. "She's staying with someone else until you find somewhere more... suitable." Eli said, looking between Jack and my mother. "And if you ever touch her, ever, you will fully regret it. I promise you that."

My mom looked a little stunned. I didn't care. I didn't even say goodbye or look back at her as Eli gently led me to his hearse.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Because of you." I told her, giving him a weak smile. "That guy is a psycho."

"If he had hurt you..." Eli started.

"You would have beat him with the bat? By the way, I thought you said you'd never used it before." I said, raising my eyebrows.

"Not that particular bat." Eli said, not looking me in the eyes. "It's not exactly something I'm proud of, Clare. I didn't mean to lie to you, but... somethings I don't want you to know. I don't want you to think I'm some terrible-"

"I don't think you're terrible, Eli. Without you... I don't know what would have happened. Sometimes a little... experience in things like that comes in handy." I said, and I meant it.

Eli just smiled back at me.

"I didn't know you could cook." Eli said to me as I finished putting the last of the dishes in the cupboards.

I repaid Eli's hospitality by buying everything I needed to make spaghetti for the two of us and making him dinner. I figured it was the least I could do. And cooking was something I enjoyed.

"Was it alright?" I asked, a little worried.

"It was great." Eli said. He grabbed the dinner plate from my hand and put it away in the cupboard for me. "Go sit, you deserve it."

I smiled and did what he said, settling myself down on the corner of the couch, curling my feet underneath myself.

I yawned a little as Eli plopped down beside me.

"Tired?" He asked.

I shook my head, but Eli didn't buy it. I'd been trying to avoid the whole, "Where will I sleep?" issue.

"I'll pull out the couch for you. It doubles as a bed." He said.

"Thanks." I said, feeling relieved. I liked Eli. A lot, actually. And I liked kissing him. Again, a lot. Yet I didn't think I was ready to sleep in bed with him. Eli and I stood up, putting the couch down and then Eli went and grabbed me blankets and pillows.

"Thanks again. For the millionth time." I told him, so grateful that I had someone like him here for me.

"No problem." He said with a smile. "I'll be in the room, if you need me."

"Okay." I said a little quietly.

"Disappointed?" He asked, winking at me.

I blushed. "No, I-"

Eli smiled. "I was kidding." He told me. "See you in the morning?"

"Yeah." I nodded.

Eli went into the room for a few seconds and came back out with a pair of shorts. I assumed they were his.

"You can't sleep in your jeans, you know." He told me.

I took them and thanked him. When he was back in his room, I went to the bathroom to put them on. I came back out and laid down on the bed/couch. It was comfy, and the blankets smelt like Eli and laundry. A mix between the natural smell of boy, what ever deodorant or cologne he wore, and soap. I liked it.

I fell asleep for a few hours, but I was tossing and turning all night. It had started raining at some point and it was making me restless.

When the thunder finally boomed, loud and frightening, I gave a little scream. I couldn't help it. Give me spiders? I'm fine. Scary movies? Fine. Moms creepy new boyfriend? Mostly fine. Yet completely nonthreatening thunder that can in no way harm me? Yeah, I scream like a little girl.

Eli came out of his room as the lightening stuck, making the whole living room light up a bit. Kurt gave a small little bark, but was then quiet.

"Are you okay?" Eli asked, looking alarmed.

"I'm fine." I answered. "Just... thunderstorms kind of scare me."

Eli laughed. "Seriously? Out of everything, thunderstorms?"

"Don't mock me." I said, narrowing my eyes but smiling. Then the lightening flashed again and I got a good look at Eli.

His eyes were droopy with sleep, but very much alert. His dark hair stuck up around his head obviously from tossing in his sleep. His bare chest shone a little bit, probably from sweating. The apartment was a little hot.

Did I care that he was a little sweaty? No, because I was too busy focusing on the fact that he wasn't wearing anything but a pair of black boxers with skulls on them. I never noticed that he was that muscular before. Not, like, body-builder worthy, but his arms had a good amount of definition, and his abs...

I blushed, thankful he couldn't see it in the dark.

"Do you want to come sleep with me, then?" Eli asked. My eyes widened. His did too, when he realized what he said. "Not like that. Not that I wouldn't like too, but I know that you're not really into... sex or, I mean, anything like that right now but sometimes it's easier to sleep through a storm when you're with someone else."

I think it was his nervous babbling that actually got me up off the couch/bed and into his room. Plus, it really probably would help to have someone with me. I was such a chicken when it came to storms.

"I promise I'll stay on my side of the bed." Eli said, and I could hear the smile in his voice even though I couldn't see it in the dark.

I reached around me and found the bed. I pulled back the covers and climbed in, feeling more nervous than I ever had.

I'd never shared a bed with a boy. But it seemed that, with Eli, I was having a lot of firsts. He was probably the first boy to ever come to my rescue, more than once, too. First boy who ever really took care of me. First boy I kissed and was over come with... feelings for. Probably the first boy I really _liked_. Not just a small crush.

I fell asleep quickly, despite the storm, thinking of Eli and feeling comforted by his presence beside me.

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><p><strong>Bad beginning, adorable ending, yes? Only 16 more days (EDIT: I'm not sure what day it is, actually. My computer clock is screwed, but I THINK it's 16 days. Not sure...) until Degrassi comes back! Woo hoo! And, that means only 14 days until Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, both of which I am so, so, so super excited for. :D<strong>

**Sorry for not updating sooner, but I've been busy. My cousin graduated high school and my whole family on my mothers side came down, including my aunt and her two new children, so things were EXTREMELY hectic and I had no chances to get free time, other than sleeping.  
><strong>

**BTW, if any of you are bored and looking for a new TV show to watch maybe online or something, and haven't seen One Tree Hill, I suggest watching the first season online, or, if you're like super rich or have something against watching TV online, then rent it from your local video store or something. I'm rematching it right now. I forgot how much I absolutely adored this show before it got terrible (No offense if anyone loves it and thinks it's still good even though the main character is gone...). Definitely a good teen drama, in my opnion. Filled with, well, drama, and a lot of very cute boys. Not that I'm boy obsessed but... James Lafferty is so smokin'. ;) **

**Anyways, I've been babbling a lot, so I'm going to stop now! Review please, and tell me what you thought! - Love, C**


	19. Chapter 19

**So I'm back! I'm sorry for not updating for a long time, but... I was having some really bad family issues with my mother and her boyfriend. Long story short, I couldn't go home for a couple days and was in a hotel without my laptop OR internet, so writing and updating wasn't possible. ANYWAYS. This won't be the only chapter I add tonight, so stay tuned! Hope you enjoy! - C**

* * *

><p>Hello?" Came a voice from the other end of the line.<p>

I sat on Eli's couch, nervously entwining the cord of the phone around my finger.

"Who is this?" Replied my father. He sounded annoyed.

"Hey, daddy." I said quietly. I felt close to tears and we hadn't even had a full conversation yet. Part of me hated my father, hated him for leaving me with mom. Another part of me missed him, though. Missed the way we used to be before my life was turned upside down and he moved out of the city.

"Clare?" He asked, sounding surprised. He sounded a little less annoyed now. "Long time no talk."

"Yeah, I know. How are you?" I asked. My voice broke on the yeah.

"I'm good, honey. How are you? How's your mother?" He asked. I suddenly felt a little angry. He spoke of mom as if they were old friends, not a divorced couple. As if he had any right to care anymore.

"I'm fine." I replied, a little cooly. "Look, I need to ask you for something."

"What is it, hun?"

"I need money. For clothes." I replied.

"Clare-" He started, ready to let me down.

Dad made a lot of money. More than enough to send me down a few hundred for a new wardrobe and not even notice it gone.

"We had a fire at home. I have no clothes." I told him, my voice clipped. "At all."

"Fine, I'll wire some down for you. Alright?" He asked. He didn't even ask if I was okay.

"Yeah." I replied, and hung up on him. No goodbye, or thank you. He didn't deserve it.

Tears stung my eyes. I didn't know if they were tears of sadness or anger. Probably both. I fought to keep them under control so Eli wouldn't notice, but when he sat down on the couch beside me his eyes filled with concern. He reached over slowly and wipped a tear off my cheek.

"God, I hate him!" I exclaimed, angry and hurt. "He didn't even ask if I was okay."

"Forget him, Clare. Someone who willingly walks out of your life doesn't deserve you anyways." Eli told me. He gently wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me to him.

"You're right." I said, sighing. "I need to make another call."

"Why?" Eli asked, confused. "Need to talk to your mom?"

That brought up even more anger in me. "No." I snapped. Then I instantly felt bad. "Sorry, I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at her. Anyways, I need to go shopping, and as much as I like spending time with you, I don't think you'll help much there. I'm calling Alli."

I figured she could help me find some nice things, but inviting her to help might also fix the riff that started between us when I started hanging out with Eli. Alli may have been judgemental, but she was still my best friend. Sometimes it's hard to stay mad at her.

Eli laughed. "You're right, she'd probably be much more help." He said with a smile. "You should get something special for tonight."

"Why?" I asked.

"I kind of promised Fitz a few days ago that we could have a party here." He said, and watched my face, probably trying to judge if I was going to be upsetted by this.

"Sounds fun." I replied with a smile. "Just no lollipops this time."

"I promise." He said, looking a little relieved.

I called Alli and she was happy to go to the mall with me. She told me that she'd get Sav to drive us to get my money from the bank and to the mall. She blackmailed him into it.

An hour later Alli and I were standing in the mall, me with three hundred dollars, Alli with a hundred that she'd saved up.

"Where do you want to go first?" She asked. The whole time we'd been together, neither of us mentioned our arguments over Eli.

I'd filled her in on everything. I even finally told her about my mother's drinking problem. She still didn't think Eli was good enough for her best friend, but she said if I saw something in him, there was probably something there worth liking.

"I have no idea. I'm not good at this," I said, gesturing around me. "I need to find something to wear to a party tonight."

"He's having a party?" Alli said, getting excited. "Maybe I can come?"

"Are your parents going to let you?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

Alli started walking towards a store with a bunch of female maniquins dressed in tight, low slung jeans and t-shirts.

"If I tell them I'm going over to your house to study they will. They love you. They think you're the best influence for me, Saint Clare." She said with a smile. "As long as I'm not home to late. I'll save a little cash for a cab."

Alli flipped through the racks while we spoke, and she pulled out a shirt and held it up to me. It was super cute, but not something I was buy.

"This would look _great_ on you." She said.

It was one sleeved, and the top layer of it, and the sleeve, were black lace/netting. There was a blue tank-top on the underpart, only showing through the lace.

"I don't-"

"Just try it on with a pair of jeans." She told me, grabbing a dark pair in my size and pushing me into a changing room. "If you hate it, don't get it."

"Fine." I said as she shut the door behind me.

I tried it on and looked in the mirror. It wasn't a slutty top, but definitely more racey than I would usually go for. I hesitantly opened the door.

"I lied." Alli said, her eyes wide. "Even if you hate it, you are getting that shirt."

And I did.

By the time Alli and I left the mall I had four new outfits and two extra shirt and fifty dollars left. Alli got a few shirt.

I went back to Eli's without Alli. She said she would come over at around seven. I still had to ask Eli if that was okay, and I was hoping he wouldn't care.

When I got back Eli wasn't alone. He sat on the couch with Fitz, both of them sitting on the edge of the couch, leaning forward and playing video games.

"Hey Clare." Eli called over his shoulder, not even turning around.

Fitz turned around, only for a second, and something must have happened on the game because Eli let out a shout of happiness.

"Got you again!" He shouted. Fitz returned to the game with more intensity.

"I'll be done in a minute."Eli told me.

I just smiled and shook my head. Boys.

"Is there somewhere I can put my clothes?" I asked his, sitting down on the big chair in the living room.

"Yeah, you can have the top drawer. There's nothing in there." Eli said, still not turning to face me.

I got up and brought my bags into the room. He emptied a drawer for me. I had my own drawer in his dresser.

The thought of that made me smile. Don't people in serious relationships do stuff like that?

I changed into the new outfit that Alli had picked out for me after putting everything else away. Then I went into the bathroom and did my hair and put on a small bit of makeup. Just some coverup and mascara and eyeliner.

Eli and Fitz were done playing when I got up. Fitz looked annoyed and Eli looked happy.

It was easy to tell who won.

"Sorry about that." Eli told me, putting the game back in the case. "You know how guys are with video games."

"It's fine." I told him. "I needed to put my stuff away anyways."

"So, did you find anything-" Eli stopped, checking me out. "Wow. I guess you did find something for tonight."

"Is it... is it okay?" I asked, suddenly feeling extremely self-consious.

"Definitely. More than okay." He said.

"Who knew that saint Clare was _hot_." Fitz said, smiling at me.

I blushed.

"I invited Alli over tonight, is that okay?" I asked Eli, going to sit on the couch and covering my stomach with my arms. I felt uncomfortable, but also a little... sexy. Guys usually didn't look at me like that, much less guys like Eli.

"Sure." Eli said. Eli came over and sat between Fitz and I. He entwined my hand in his, not caring if Fitz saw him do it. That made me happy.

"Eli throws the _best_ parties." Fitz told me.


	20. Chapter 20

By 'best parties' Fitz obviously meant most insane. I had thought that the party at Fitz's house was bad, but this... it was about the same, I guess. It just seemed worse because it was all crammed into one little apartment instead of one giant mansion.

"I'm starting to like Eli better every minute, Clare." Alli said to me before taking a sip of her... something. I wasn't sure if it was beer, coke, or coke mixed with some other kind of alcohol.

"He sure throws one heck of a party." I said. Actually, I yelled it. Eli had a pretty good sound system hidden somewhere. I could barely hear anything other than music.

"Isn't that Eli's ex-"

"Clare!" Called Chloe's annoyingly fake voice. "So nice to see you again!"

"Hi." I said plainly, trying my best to ignore her. She deserved it, the bitch.

"Where's Eli? I need to talk to him, you know, alone." She said with a suggestive wink.

"Seriously?" I said and rolled my eyes. I was really sick of this girl.

"Why wouldn't I be?" She asked. Her fake smile dropped into a sneer. "It's not like he'd be serious about _you_. Eli needs a _real_ woman. Not some stuck up Christian freak who won't give him what he wants."

"Who do you think you are?" Alli asked, stepping between Chloe and I. Alli may be small, but she was like a little pit bull. She was fierce.

"Whatever. If you see Eli, tell him I said hi." Chloe said and flounced off, looking kind of like a hooker, the way she overtly moved her hips.

"I really hate her." I said angrily.

"Don't be jealous." Said a voice behind me. I felt arms slip around my waist and when I tried to turn I felt lips on my ear. "She's just trying to get to you."

I shivered at Eli's breath in my ear but relaxed against him.

"I'm afraid it's working." I replied.

"Look, Clare I-" He broke off at the sound of something smashing. We both looked around for the source. "I'm going to go check that out. We'll talk later, okay?"

"He's crazy." I told Alli. "Having a party in a place this small."

"It's not _that_ small." Elli told me. She took a sip of her drink but kept her eyes on a guy sitting on the couch with a bunch of friends. He was watching Alli back. "Can we finish this conversation somewhere else? Like, say, the couch? My feet are getting tired."

I sighed but smiled and we made our way over to the couch. Alli and I both sat down on the couch and the guy who'd been watching Alli smiled at us.

"You look nice tonight." He said with a sly smile.

He was cute, I guess. Light brown hair that fell just below his ears and nice brown eyes. Nothing like Eli.

Alli gave him a big flirty smile. "Thanks."

The boy kept smiling but his eyebrows knit together for a second. "Sorry, I was actually talking to Clare."

Alli's eyes narrowed for a second but then she smiled again. "Clare actually has a boyfriend."

"Eli, right?" He asked, looking right at me. "Lucky guy."

I blushed but felt bad. Alli was the one who usually had guys hitting on her. One that she liked hitting on me must have definitely bothered her.

"I'm going to go see him right now, actually. Why don't you two talk?" I said, gesturing at Alli and the boy.

I stood up without waiting for an answer.

A few hours later the last few people were heading out in cabs. Eli was sitting on the couch with Fitz, the two of them drinking out of big red cups that were definitely spiked with _something_.

"There is going to be a very big mess to clean up tomorrow." I said, sitting down beside Eli.

"Who cares?" Eli said with a big sloppy smile. Fitz laughed.

"And you're both drunk." I said, trying not to laugh as Fitz nearly fell over sideways on the couch. "How much did you drink?"

"Uh, not _that_ much." Eli told me. His face scrunched up in thought. "Half a bottle of vodka each? Maybe more? I can't really remember."

"A lot." Fitz told me. He tried to look serious but failed and ended up laughing.

Hanging out with drunk people isn't very fun when you're sober.

"Well, I think I'm going to go crash in your room. Is that okay?" I asked Eli.

"No, no, no. Fitz is leaving." Eli said, giving Fitz a very obvious, "GO!" look.

"You're right, my bus should be coming by any minute now." Fitz said, standing up. He stumbled a bit but was fine.

"Wait," I told him. "Maybe I should call you a cab."

He just nodded.

Five minutes later Eli and I both sat together on the couch. Eli had his arm around me and his eyes closer with his head leaned back.

"Sorry I drank so much." Eli told me.

"Don't worry about it." I told him. I enjoyed relaxing in his arms, just the two of us. Especially after the crazy night we'd had There was beer cans and bottles everywhere. Cigarette ashes on the floor. I wondered why no one in the building had called the police or something, but I figured we were in the kind of neighborhood where people didn't care as much.

"You wouldn't drink this much." Eli told me. He sounded serious suddenly. "That's why you're too good for me."

"I am not, Eli." I replied, equally serious but a lot less drunk.

"Yeah, you are. You see, Clare," He started, sitting up, his eyes open. "Some people get dealt a shitty hand in life. People like me and you. Some of us chose to go on and be good, sensible people, like you. But then people like me, we go on to be idiots just like out parents."

"You're not an idiot." I told him, grabbing his hand.

"Actually I am. I want to be better, but this is who I really am. I'm the kind of person to throw huge parties and get shit-faced and not care about the consiquences."

"Everyone needs to have fun once in a while."

"You don't."

"I have fun." I said, a little offended.

"Yeah, but not _stupid_ fun. You're too smart for that."

"You act like I'm some perfect person, but I'm not." I told him. "I make mistakes, I do stupid things too."

"Not all the time. Not like me."

"Stop with the pity party, Eli. I am not too good for you. At all. Okay?"

"Sure." Eli said. He closed his eyes again. "But one day you're going to realize that's not true and you're going to leave just like everyone else."

* * *

><p><strong>It seems like ever since summer started I've had LESS time to update, which shouldn't be the case but it is! I'm sorry to all you awesome people that read this. I didn't want to be one of those people who hardly ever updated and I'm going to work to update more often.<strong>

**ANYWAYS! Thanks for the awesome reviews! We're at NINETY! If we ever make it to 100 I'll... I don't know, but it would be _awesome_! So, hope you enjoyed it! -C**


	21. Chapter 21

I woke up the day after the party hours before Eli did. I amused he would be hungover when he awoke and didn't want him to have to clean feeling sick. So I grabbed a garbage bag and started to tidy up the small apartment.

It took over an hour to get everything completely clean. Spilt cans of Coca-Cola had made a sticky, hard to clean up mess on the linoleum floors.

"You didn't have to do that." Eli said, coming out of the room. He had taken off his shirt and was standing there, his hair rumpled, in a pair of jeans that fell down his hips a little, revealing a strip of blue boxers. "But thank you."

I gave a small smile. "After everything, Eli, I owe you. It's the least I could do."

"I want to talk to you about something." Eli replies, settling himself on the couch. He looked different than usual. Maybe it was the way his smile seemed distant, or the fact that he didn't really make eye contact with me.

I put down the garbage bag I had just been tying up and joined him.

"Is something wrong?" I asked him.

"Actually, yes." He said. "It's just... I don't think you should stay here anymore."

The second he says the words all the warmth and happiness inside me slipped away.

"Oh." I reply, not exactly sure what to say. "Oh, I understand. It's fine. I'll go stay with Chrissy."

"Good." Eli says. His eyes still haven't met mine. Obviously he was having second thoughts about actually liking me, having me live with him. He was a teenage boy, after all. That was... normal, expected. "That's good."

I packed all my things, including my new clothes. Eli and I didn't talk much during that. I felt a hollow pit in my stumach. I wasn't mad at Eli. Just hurt.

Eli drove me to Chrissy's. He turned to me before I exited the car.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" He asked me.

I nod, feeling tears making there way into my eyes. I'd promised myself I wouldn't cry, and I was sticking to that.

"Thank you, Eli. For everything. I really appreciate it." I told him, this time me being the one not meeting the other's eyes.

"You're welcome, Clare." He said.

I slowly walk up to Chrissy's house, trying not to seem as if I was running away from Eli. I was, though. I was running away from all the pain I felt when thinking about what had just happened.

I don't knock on Chrissy's door. I know she'll be there and that she won't mind me just walking in.

The second I get over the threshold the tears I'd been holding back finally bubbled over and leaked down my face. I lean against the door for a few moments, my body racking with sobs.

Why was I so god damned upset over a boy? I'd never been like that before. Not when KC had left me, or when he'd started dating the bimbo, Jenna. I'd been hurt, but not heartbroken, devastated.

It was because there was something in Eli that made me feel whole again. As if my life hadn't been shattered when my father left us and my mother turned to alcohol as a way to deal with things.

And in the last few days I'd felt myself falling even harder for him.

"Clare?" Chrissy called, her voice filled with concern. She came out of the living room looking confused.

"S-sorry." I said, my voice thick from crying. "Is it okay if I stay here for a bit?"

Chrissy didn't reply. She just walked forward and wrapped her arms around me.

"First heartbreak, huh?" She asks.

I nod, not trusting my voice not to break.

She shook her head. "Cookies." She said. "Cookies and ice cream are exactly what you need."

I felt doubtful that junk food could help mend the wound in my heart, but the thought of cookies right now _did_ make me feel a little better.

The next day at school I walked into Degrassi feeling a little frightened. Eli didn't want me to live with him, but did that mean he was breaking up with me too? Probably.

Alli ran up to me, a big smile plastered on her face. "So, when are you and Eli having the next party?" She asked me.

"Never." I tell her. "I don't think... I don't think there _is_ an Eli and I anymore."

Her smile drops and she places a hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry, Clare. He really made you happy."

"Yeah," I replied, looking down the hall, hoping to see him, yet at the same time praying I didn't. "He did."

It isn't until lunch that Eli and I see each other. I was heading to my locker when I spotted him down the hall with his group of friends. Chloe had herself draped over him, clinging to him.

I watch them until Eli meets me eyes. He flinched as if something electrocuted him but didn't pull Chloe off. Alli's eyes followed mine and narrowed into a glare. She slammed my locker shut.

"Asshole." Alli said, watching Eli still. She grabbed my arm and pulled me down another hallway. "As if he's just letting that leper just hang off him like that. You are so much better than that, Clare."

"It hasn't even been a day." I replied, but I suddenly didn't feel like crying at seeing Eli and Chloe. I felt just angry. "I guess that answers whether we're still together."

"You know, last night that guy who was hitting on you?" She says, getting a mischievous gleam in her eyes. "I was kind of pissed off when he gave me his number telling me to call if you and Eli ever break up, but not I think it's exactly what you need."

"He did that?" I asked quickly. "But it's too soon."

"Well, there's nothing like a good rebound, Clare. Trust me, I know that pretty well." She says.

I remember when her and Johnny finally broke up. He had been a creep, but Alli had genuinely liked him. Alli was strong, though. She hadn't let it break her.

And I wasn't going to either.

* * *

><p><strong>Please don't hate me, or stop reading! Just bare with me, things will get better for our lovely couple. PROMISE! Hope you enjoyed it, even though it was sad... -C<strong>

**PS! We got to 100 Reviews! You guys, are seriously, the BEST! 3**

**Also, super super super excited for tomorrow night! I might get inspired and update a chapter, who knows. I've counting the days until Degrassi comes back. Though I'm not exactly excited to see Clare with anyone but Eli... **

**Less than twenty four hours from now!**

**PPS, went to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2. For anyone who hasn't seen it? GET YOUR BUTT TO THE MOVIE THEATER! It was as amazing as I anticipated, though I'm a little heartbroken that the Harry Potter series is finally, completely over. First the books, now the movies... :(**


	22. Chapter 22

Before school ended, I was going through my locker. I knew I had my History notes _somewhere _in there. I was so caught up in looking through my locker that I hadn't even noticed someone standing by my locker.

At first, that is.

Eventually I noticed the presence beside me, but I didn't look up. I figured it was Eli and right now... I really didn't want to talk to him.

"Clare." Obviously who ever was standing there was sick of waiting for me to acknowledge them, but that person was definitely not Eli.

I looked up to see Drew. That was very surprising.

"Yeah?" I asked, my raising my eyebrows in confusion.

"Look, I know it's none of my business, and we're not exactly friends but... I've seen you around with Eli, and since you're the only person I know who he hangs out with who isn't completely stupid, I thought I'd let you know that Eli's being drinking. A lot."

I bit back the angry 'So what' that popped into my head, but I knew it was only bitter feelings from the break up.

"Eli and I aren't... we're not together, so I really don't think it's any concern of mine." I said, trying not to sound like a bitch, but honestly, what was I going to do?

"Alright, I just thought I'd warn someone, since he drove to school today and is probably planning on driving back home, too." Drew said.

"Shit." I mumbled. Now it _was_ my problem. Not because I was Eli's caretaker, but because I cared about him and I couldn't let him get himself, or someone else, hurt. "Where is he?"

"Just hanging out in the parking lot." Drew told me. He gave me a quick smile. "See you around, Clare."

"Yeah, you too." I replied, then slammed my locker shut.

I hurried down the hall and out the front door. I could clearly see the parking lot from here, and Eli. He, and a few others, were drinking what looked to be pop out of clear water bottles. If what Drew said was right, though, that wasn't just pop.

"Idiot." I mumbled to myself. I wasn't usually so... mean, but after seeing Eli with Chloe, I couldn't help it.

Finally I got to Eli and completely ignored everyone else he was with.

"What are you doing here, Clare?" He asked me.

His tone wasn't exactly friendly. That's when I knew that, if I tried to stop him from driving, he would probably just blow me off.

I could smell the alcohol now. I still didn't know what I was going to do. And then it hit me.

Eli may not want to be with me but I knew that, even drunk, he wouldn't want to hurt anyone else. So I walked over to the passenger side of his hearse and jumped in without asking his permission.

"What are you doing?" Eli asked me. His words slurred a little this time.

"I'm sitting in here until you give me your keys." I told him.

"God damn it, Clare!" Eli said angrily. I watched as many of his friends backed away, giving us a little privacy. "Why can't you just let me be?"

"Because I'm not just going to let you hurt yourself and quiet possibly someone else." I told him.

"But we're not together anymore." Eli says quietly. He walks over to his side of the car and gets in. "You're not supposed to care anymore. _I'm_ not supposed to care anymore."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask, more than a little confused.

"Why do you think I broke up with you?" He asked, as if it was obvious. "I'm not the kind of guy who falls in love. I just... can't. It scares me."

"So what does that have to do with us breaking up?"

"Do I really have to spell it out for you?" He asks. Suddenly he sounds sober, his words not slurring in the least. "I like you too much, and that bothers me. In case you haven't noticed, I don't like caring about people, or depending on people at all."

"And your solution to that was to alienate me?" I asked. I didn't know if I was happy that he still liked me... or very angry with everything he'd done in the last twenty-four hours. "And that's why Chloe's been clinging to you all day?"

Eli pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. I think I was giving him a headache.

"My father abandoned me." I say angrily. "My sister abandoned me. My mother... she's been there physically, but emotionally she's abandoned me too. And then you come around, and you do the _exact_ same thing because you 'care too much'."

"I didn't mean to-"

"Well, you did." I say quietly. I don't want to yell at him anymore. Now I just feel exhausted.

"I'm sorry." Eli says quietly. "Seriously, Clare. I don't know what I was thinking. Like I said, I'm not used to caring about people so I don't really know how to react to that."

"Word of advice: Breaking up with them and then walk around school the next day with some tramp." As soon as I say it, I regret it. "Sorry, that was uncalled for."

"No, it really wasn't." He said. "I truly don't deserve you, you know that? I mean, most girls would just ignore me and never talk to me again. Or they'd slap me or something."

"I hate it when people say that." I tell Eli. "'I don't deserve you.' Well, what about what I deserve? Don't I deserve someone I'm happy with?"

"And you're happy with me." Eli says. It's not a question but I nod anyways.

Eli leans forward and I meet him halfway, our lips pressing together. Eli pulls back, but only the smallest amount, and whispers the three words that change everything in our relationship.

I knew I shouldn't have forgiven him so easily, and that I shouldn't have let those words affect me so much, but they did.

"I love you." The words whisper over my lips and I know, I know that, no matter what he did, or what happens in the future, I love him too.

* * *

><p><strong>See? Now you can't hate me for breaking them up, because them getting back together was super sweet! Hope you enjoyed it! <strong>

**But I think I might have something new to hate me for.**

**New character Jake, in Degrassi? The one who totally kisses Clare? **

**I kind of adore him. He's cute, in a way, and his character is hilarious. And unexpectedly sweet.**

**STILL LOVE ELI BETTER! Promise! But... I thought, going into the new season, that I would _despise_ Jake. Yet I just can't. **

**ANYWHO! Review, pretty pretty pretty please! **

**_*********WARNING, SPOILERS FROM THE NEW EPISODES ALERT, SO IF HE HAVEN'T WATCHED THEM, DO NOT READ FARTHER!_***********

**Oh, and any thoughts you've had on the newest episodes of Degrassi can be shared as well. I, personally, am kind of annoyed at how much screen time Drew and Bianca have been getting. I liked Drew, and he's definitely adorable, and I liked Bianca when she was a bitch, but the girl who plays her struggles deeply when trying to be the sad, wounded girlfriend and it just annoys me. And watching Drew freak out over nothing, even if there was a valid reason for paranoia, just makes him so much less attractive to me. I like strong men, not ones that practically wet themselves because I trash can gets knocked over. But I like the fact that Fiona got a sorta-girlfriend. - C**


	23. Chapter 23

Eli and I went back to his apartment. When we got there, Eli grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and drank half of it in one sip.

"Why did you do it?" I asked him.

"Do what?" Eli replies, his brows knitting together.

He joins me on the couch and a turn so that I'm facing him.

"Why did you get drunk at school? I know you're not stupid, Eli. So why?"

He shrugs but looks guilty. "I was upset about everything and when Fitz pulled out the bottle of Vodka, I just took some. I didn't think. I just did."

I nod, though I still think it was a bad decision on his part. My yelling at him won't turn back time and it would only make the situation worse.

"Where are you parents?" I ask abruptly.

Eli and I had talked about a lot of things, but something that never really came up was why he was living alone at seventeen. The second I ask the question Eli's eyes get guarded and he turns away from me.

"Why does it matter?" He asks.

"I've told you almost everything about me, Eli. Yet I don't really know much about you." I tell him, and I reach forward and grab his hand. "Did they kick you out or something?"

Eli laughs bitterly. "I wish. No, I left on my own." He says. He closes his eyes and continues. "Clare, my mom is dead."

For a second I don't know what to say. "What was she like?" I ask finally.

Eli opens his eyes and smiles. "She was great. My whole family was great." Then the smile drops. "But when she died... my father changed. He couldn't handle it. Sometimes when a family faces a big loss they learn to appreciate each other more. Other times the family breaks apart. That's what happened to us."

For a second he looks so upset that I take me hand out of his and put it on his shoulder, but he shakes it off.

"My dad started drinking, kind of like yours did. And he'd get angry. Sometimes he would just yell at me, other times it got more physical than that." He says. The pain in his eyes makes me want to hold him close to me and protect him from everything. I've never seen him so voulnerable. I've also never seen him so guarded, like a single touch from someone else will send him running.

"I couldn't stay there, Clare. I'm not like you. I couldn't just watch him waste away and deal with everything else. My girlfriend at the time, Julia, you remember I told you about her? She was the one who suggested I move out. You can get on welfare at a young age as long as you have a valid reason for not staying at home. It was either that or foster care, and at my age I'd be in a group home, and that wasn't something I wanted."

"So I got accepted for welfare and left. I didn't tell my dad, and I didn't bring anything with me except a bag of clothes. I haven't seen him since then." Eli finishes. He turns to me and grabs my hand. "I had no choice."

Eli looks at me as if asking for me not to judge him.

"Have you even called him?" I ask.

Eli shakes his head. "No. That was two years ago, and I haven't even..." He trails off, looking extremely upset. "I don't even know if he still lives at home anymore. I don't even know if he's okay."

"Maybe you should try."

"I can't!" Eli says, standing up. "I was upset too, and I needed him! And he didn't care about me at all!"

"I'm sure he did-"

"If he did, he wouldn't have fallen apart like that." Eli says angrily, though I know that anger isn't directed at me.

"I think you should." I say, standing up too. I walk over to Eli and wrap my arms around him. "I know he hurt you, and he should have been there for you, but I think you should try and forgive him. If not for him, at least for you. I can tell it bothers you that you left things the way you did."

"I can't."

"I'll come with you, if you want." I say, looking up at him. "Maybe some closure will help things a little."

"I don't know-"

"Just try. It can't hurt to try."

Slowly, Eli nods.

"He could have changed, you know." I tell him.

"Probably not."

"But maybe." I push. "And isn't that enough to at least want to try?"

For the first time since we started talking about this, Eli smiles. "You really are too good of a person, you know that?"

I laugh. "Someone in this relationship needs to be."

* * *

><p><strong>I know it's short, and I know I haven't updated in a while. I've had serious writers block. I'll try and work through it and add more chapters, but this story is coming to an end soon anyways. About two or three more chapters, sadly. I will probably start a new one right afterwards, though. :)<strong>

**Hope you guys forgive me for not updating!**

**Review, pretty please! You guys really are awesome for all the reviews. **

**And on to the part where I talk about the new episodes ( I think I've done this for every new chapter, and now I can't stop sharing my opinion on it, so you'll all just have to deal with it! :P ). **

**SPOILERS FOR NEW EPISODES!**

**So, Imogen. This is the main topic of my anger. I probably would have loved her really weird, not caring about anything personality in normal circumstances. I mean, I really like the idea of her character, and the way she kept Eli from getting in trouble by throwing herself to the floor was hilarious, a little weird but in an interesting way. Yet she's trying to make Eli think that Clare is like, the She-devil or something. She's trying to make Eli crazy because he only likes her, and doesn't love Clare, when he's insane. I wouldn't even have minded if her and Eli got together originally. I mean, I accepted the fact that, sadly, Eli and Clare were over and that they would probably get new love interests. I even really like Jake. But Imogen is going about it all wrong, which makes me REALLY not like her.**

**Anyways, I hope Eli see's through her crazy bullshit soon.**

**On another note, WTF is up with Anya? COCAINE? Hurting adorable Owen's feelings? At first I disliked Owen, but his character has really grown on me, and I liked the idea of him and Anya. Now Anya's obviously going through some major crisis. I hope he saves her from herself, because someone has to.**

**I realize that this site isn't for me to share my thoughts on these things, but, well... I'm gonna do it anyways!**

**Hope you enjoyed the episode - C**


	24. Chapter 24

"This is where you grew up?" I asked, staring up at the large house.

It was kind of hard to believe that this was the place Eli had lived for most of his life. He looked so out of place here. The whole house was white, but all the window shutters were a nice blue, as was the porch. There was a swing set out front, and the lawn was perfectly mowed. There was multiple colored flowers in the flower beds. It was just so... _not_ Eli.

"I haven't really fit here since my mom died." Eli said quietly, as if sensing my thoughts.

The house its self was located far outside Toronto. It had taken us forty minutes to drive here, but outside of the city the houses were much nicer. This house in particular was the perfect place to raise a child.

"Are you going to go up?" I asked him.

The two of us were both standing in front of the steps up to the porch. I turned around and looked at Eli's hearse, which looked even more out of place at this beautiful white house than Eli.

When I turned around and he still hadn't moved, I gently grabbed his arm and walked up the steps with him. When we stood on the front porch, right in front of the door, Eli shuddered.

"Are you okay?" I asked him, twinning my hands with his.

"I don't exactly have the best memories of this place." He said, looking around.

I waited for him to do something, but he didn't. After a moment, I finally gave in and knocked on the door myself.

To Eli's and my surprise, a woman answered. She was probably in her thirties, pretty, with light brown hair and a nice smile. She was also very pregnant.

"Can I help you?" She asked.

For a second we were too shocked to speak, but then finally Eli said quickly, "No, sorry. We must have the wrong house."

He hurried down the steps.

"Eli!" I called after him. I turned to the woman. "Sorry."

I caught up with him before he got in the hearse.

"I knew he wouldn't even be here anymore." Eli muttered.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have made you come." I said quietly.

"No, no." He said quickly. "It was good for me to come. At least now I know for a fact he's gone."

"Eli!" We both turned to see the pregnant woman hobbling towards us.

"Yes?" Eli called back, looking confused.

"Sorry–," The woman said, panting. Obviously that much walking while that pregnant was hard. "If I had realized who you were right away– I would have– invited you in."

"What do you mean?" Eli asked, still looking confused.

"I'll let your father explain. Come on in." She said, heading back towards the house.

Eli didn't move.

"Are you going?" I asked.

"Do you realize who she is?" He asked me, looking upset.

"No–"

"Come on." He said, instead of clarifying what he meant. He tightly grabbed my hand we headed up to the beautiful house together.

When we entered the woman told us to wait in the livingroom, which was clean and nicely decorated with a beige couch and chair.

After a minute or so, a man walked in. At first he didn't look anything like Eli. His hair was lighter, his lips a lot thinner. But after studying him for longer, the similarities were obvious. They had the same eyes, and their noses were identical.

"Eli." He said quietly. He looked both sad and happy.

Eli, on the other hand, looked just plain angry.

"How are you?" Eli's dad asked him, settling himself down on the chair. He gave Eli a hopeful smile.

Eli squeezed my hand more tightly. "Who is she?" He asked. "The woman who brought us in here?"

"Mary?" His father questioned. "She's... she's my wife."

Eli laughed. It wasn't a happy laugh. "Of course she is. And I'm guessing that's your baby she's carrying?"

Eli's father looked uncomfortable. He nodded.

"So you could stay sober enough for her," he said angrily. "But you could never do it for me!"

"Eli–,"

"No," He said angrily, standing up. "I don't care that you moved on. I'm _happy_ you did. You just should have done it sooner. You weren't the only one who was hurting after she died, but I had _no one_."

"Eli–,"

"Why didn't you try to find me?" Eli asked angrily.

"I did–,"

"No, you didn't. If you did, you would have. My school records are easily tracked and they would've told you where I was living. You could have found me if you wanted to."

Eli's dad stood up now too. He didn't look sad, or happy anymore. "Why did you come?" He asked Eli, his anger equal to his sons. " To yell at me for things I can't fix? What's the point?"

"I don't know..." Eli said, for a minute his anger faulted. "I just thought... Never mind. Sorry for bothering you."

And Eli stomped out of the house.

I followed after him quickly. "Thank you for having us." I called out before running out the door.

Eli was already sitting in the car when I caught up to him. He was gripping the steering-wheel really hard.

"Eli." I said quietly.

"Do you know why it bothers me so much?" He asked me.

I shook my head. Anything I said now might only make him angry, so instead I just laid a hand on his knee and let him talk.

"It's the fact that he couldn't do it for me. He couldn't stop drinking for me, but he can do it for some girl he didn't even know. He's fine now, but he couldn't pull it together enough to realize that, after losing one parent, I really needed the other. And he let me deal with it alone. He let me live alone." He said angrily, but I could see tears in his eyes, but he was fighting to keep them from falling. "I wasn't good enough for him to sober up for, but now he's found someone who is."

"Eli–,"

"I needed him, Clare. I needed him, and he pretty much abandoned me." He said quietly. All of his anger was gone now.

I wrapped my arms around him, not surprised when I felt tears dampen my shoulder, but I didn't comment on it.

"I'm sick of people leaving me." He said finally.

"I'm not going anywhere." I told him, and we separated.

"Well, that went well, didn't it?" Eli asked, giving a weak smile.

"Maybe we'll try again another time, when you're ready." I said quietly.

"If I ever am." Eli said, and pulled out of the drive way of the beautiful white house.

* * *

><p><strong>So, I know I haven't updated in a while. I've been really stuck on this one. This chapter was something I've been meaning to write, but... weirdly enough, a lot of this chapter hit really close to home, and it was hard for me to write. The next one will be up a lot sooner than this one was. Especially now that summer is coming to a close and I will be on a schedule again.<strong>

**Sorry, for taking so long. Hope you guys don't hate me for it! **

**Also, I'm hoping to make the next chapter a lot more happy. But this story is going to end soon. I can't really do much more with it, and I already know how it's going to end. ANYWAYS! Review, if you all don't hate me! :P - C**


	25. Chapter 25

**I am SO sorry for taking like, months to update. I didn't know how to finish this story, but I knew it was coming to a close. I hope you enjoy it, this is the last chapter of it. Hope you enjoyed the entire thing, actually. Everyone who left reviews, you guys are seriously wonderful. -C**

**By the way, I seriously really like Jake, but I just CANNOT wait for Eli and Clare to get back together. I mean, they are gonna get back together, right? RIGHT? Gah. The Degrassi writers are really killing me here.  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Eli and I sat on his couch. He had his arm around me, and for just a few moments, the world was perfect. Of course, the phone had to go and ring and ruin it.<p>

"Do you want me to-," Eli started.

"No, go answer it, I'll be here waiting." I told him, smiling.

Things had been different since we'd seen his dad. For some reason, I thought it might make him withdraw even farther away from me, but it didn't. Weirdly enough, it had the opposite affect. He seemed to be sweeter, closer to me.

I couldn't help but think that he was afraid I was going to leave him too, and this was his way of making sure that if I did, it wasn't because of something he did.

Eli came back in, running a hand over his face and looking lost.

"Is everything okay?" I asked, standing up and resisting the urge to pull him to me and protect him from whatever he was bothered by.

"That... that was my dad." He said quietly, his eyebrows drawn together.

"How did he get your number?" I asked, grabbing his hand and steering him back to the couch. He sat there and stared at the screen while I fiddled with his hair, wrapping it around my fingers.

"I don't know." Eli said, sighing. "I mean, I didn't give it to him when we went to see him and I pretty much told him not to even try to see me again."

"What did he say?" I asked, giving his hand a squeeze with the hand that wasn't tangling itself in his hair.

"He wants to have dinner with me. With us, actually. Tonight." He told me, and despite how angry he was at his father for everything, he couldn't quite hide the smile in his eyes.

"So I guess you said yes?" I asked him, a smile on my own face.

I could tell that everything with his father really bothered him. He'd just wanted him to be there for him,and he wasn't. Maybe now was his time to make it up to Eli, to be the father he really needed.

"Do you want to stop by your aunts before we go over?"

"Sure, I'll see if she has anything dressy that I can borrow." I told him.

Fifteen minutes later we were knocking on my aunt's door.

"Chrissy?" I called, turning to Eli, who just shrugged.

"Is it unlocked?" He asked, trying the handle. It popped open. "She really shouldn't leave her door unlocked, not in a city like this."

"I know. That's really odd." I told him, pushing open the door. "Chrissy?"

Again, no answer. I peeked in the kitchen and no one was there. The livingroom was just as empty.

"She's probably just out doing groceries." Eli said, putting a steadying hand on my arm as if he could tell just from looking at me how worried I was.

I leaned against him and sighed. "You're probably right."

"Wait," Eli said as we walked past the kitchen again. He entered the room and picked up a single sheet of paper that was lying on the table.

He handed it over to me without reading it.

_Clare,_

_I didn't have time to call you, and hopefully I can get a hold of you once I'm at the hospital. If not, and you're reading this, your mother had an accident. I hope to see you there._

_Love, Chrissy._

"Oh, God." I said, leaning on the kitchen table for support.

Eli put a hand around my waist to hold me up, and plucked the letter out of my hand with the other. After quickly scanning it, he put it back on the table.

"Do you want to wait here, or do you want to go see her?"

"I-," The words stuck in my throat. "I hate a lot of the things she's done, but I still... I still love her, you know?"

"Okay, I'll take you there." He promised.

And this is why I needed Eli. The two of us were both so broken, we both needed someone to be strong when we couldn't. We both needed someone who could actually understand us.

"I love you." I said quietly, for a second letting him hold up some of the weight that was on my shoulder.

He kissed my head. "I couldn't live without you."

One Year Later

"You look lovely, Clare." Merry said as I stepped into her beautiful house.

Eli's father smiled when I came in, the baby he was holding was stretching its short, chubby little arms out to me. "Isaac thinks so too, don't you buddy?"

"This is my aunt, Chrissy, and my mother." I said, gesturing towards the two of them.

Chrissy looked cheerful and friendly, instantly taking a liking to Mary, who was probably around her age. My mother stood in front of the door, looking slightly awkward.

That night at the hospital, Eli and I arrived to see her bloodied and bruised, attached to a bunch of different tubes. I'd nearly passed out, probably would have if it wasn't for Eli.

Jack and her had a fight and my mother told him that she didn't want to be with him anymore. Things got bad, and he got violent. If the neighbours hadn't called the police, things might have been a lot worse.

Instead of going to stay with Chrissy after being released to the hospital, she checked herself in to a rehabilitation center. She was still struggling, but things were so much better.

Things started looking up for Eli, too. I told him to go ahead without me that night to dinner with his father. Surprisingly, they didn't fight at all. Things had been tense, but Eli and his father both loved each other, deep down.

I wasn't at all surprised when Eli announced that he was going back to live with his dad, at least until he graduated. We were both too young to live on our own. I went back to stay with Chrissy and my mom.

"You really do look beautiful." Eli told me, grabbing my hands and dragging me into the basement when no one was looking.

"You know what I miss the most about you living on your own?" I asked, leaning towards him, breathing in the deep, slightly spicy, slightly sweet smell of him.

"What is that?" He asked, wrapping his arms around me and planting a kiss on my neck.

"Privacy." I told him, finally pressing my lips against his after what felt like years but had only been a few hours. We'd seen each other at school not long before.

"They're busy enough right now. I mean, dad has Isaac, and your aunt and Mary are distracting each other. Plus, dinner isn't going to be ready for at _least_ half an hour."

"Really?" I asked, smiling against his lips as he led me towards his bed.

Eli never really got over the living alone thing, and had convinced his dad to let him set up his own little apartment in the basement. It wasn't _as_ private, but it was better than nothing.

I sat down on the bed and pulled him down with me, unable to resist sliding my hands up his shirt to grip his strong back as he laid on top of me, propping himself up on his elbows so he didn't hurt me.

Eli moved his one hand to my hips, sliding a finger across the top of my jeans.

"I wonder if I'll ever stop finding you irrisitable." He said, his voice low, husky.

"I hope not." I managed to get out.

"Eli!" His dad called, cutting off our romantic moment. Eli growled something out and pushed off me. "I love you." He said as we walked back up the stairs.

"I love you too."

**The End**


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